Tuesday, September 4, 2007

New to DVD, Tuesday, September 4, 2007

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Following is a list of those titles new to DVD, Tuesday, September 4, 2007.

The week's major releases are the fourth season of "Nip/Tuck," which is available on DVD, Blu-ray and HD DVD, as well as "Prison Break: Season 2," "Rules of Engagement: Season 1," "Robot Chicken: Season Two," "The Office: Season Three, "30 Rock: Season One" and "Desperate Housewives: Season Three."

  • Nip/Tuck - The Complete Fourth Season, DVD, Blu-ray, HD DVD
  • Spongebob Squarepants - Season 5: Volume 1
  • Chill Out Scooby-Doo!
  • Prison Break - Season 2
  • Resident Evil / Resident Evil: Apocalypse (Double Feature Collector's Edition)
  • Rules of Engagement - Season 1
  • Alvin and the Chipmunks: Scare-Riffic Double Feature
  • Robot Chicken - Season Two (Uncensored)
  • The IT Crowd - The Complete First Series
  • Bobby Z
  • Wind Chill
  • R. L. Stine's The Haunting Hour: Don't Think About It
  • She-Ra - The Complete Season Two
  • Kaleido Star: New Wings - True Star Collection
  • UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie 4 - Banquet Of Time, Dreams and Galaxies
  • It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Seasons 1 and 2
  • The Office - Season Three
  • The Real Housewives of Orange County - Season 1,
  • Believe In Me DVD
  • 30 Rock - Season 1: Volume 2
  • 30 Rock - Season 1: Volume 1
  • Demetri Martin: Person.
  • Delta Farce: DVD and Blu-ray
  • Night on Earth (The Criterion Collection)
  • Stranger Than Paradise (The Criterion Collection)
  • Cheech and Chong: Up in Smoke (Special Collector's Edition)
  • The Wind That Shakes the Barley
  • Unholy
  • The Black Donnellys - The Complete Series
  • 30 Rock - Season One
  • Disney Princess Enchanted Tales: Follow Your Dreams
  • Remember the Titans Blu-ray
  • Desperate Housewives - Season 3 (The Dirty Laundry Edition)
  • Bosom Buddies - The Second Season

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Directory U-Z

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U

Unbreakable
Ultraviolet
Undead
Undercover Brother
Underdog
Under the Tuscan Sun
Undiscovered
Unfaithful
United 93
Unleashed
Up
The Upside of Anger

V

Vacancy
Valiant
Valkyrie
Van Helsing
Vantage Point
Venus
Vera Drake
V for Vendetta

Vicky Cristina Barcelona
View from the Top
Vintage Mickey
The Village
The Visitor
Volver

W

W.
Waitress
Waking Life
WALL-E
Walk the Line
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Waltz with Bashir
Wanted
War of the Worlds (2005)
Warner Bros. Tough Guys Collection
The Watcher
Watchmen
We Are Marshall
The Wedding Date
What Happens in Vegas
Whipped
The White Countess
White Oleander
Whole Ten Yards, The
Whoopi: Back to Broadway
The Wicker Man
Wicker Park

Willard
Windtalkers

Winged Migration
The Winter Guest
Woman on Top
The Women
The Woodsman
The World is Not Enough
The Wrestler

X

X-Files: I Want to Believe
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
X-Men: The Last Stand
X2: X-Men United
XXX: State of the Union

Y

Young Frankenstein
Youth Without Youth

Z

Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Zathura
Zodiac


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Directory Q-T

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Q

Quantum of Solace
The Queen
The Quiet American

R

Race to Witch Mountain
Rachel Getting Married
Racing Stripes
Raising Helen
Ratatouille

Rat Race
Ravenous
Ray

The Reader
The Real Cancun
The Reaping

Red Dragon
Red Eye
Reign of Fire
Reign Over Me
Rendition
Rent

Resident Evil: Extinction
Revolutionary Road
The Ring
The Ring Two
The Road to Perdition
Robots
Rocky Balboa
Role Models
Run Lola Run
Running Scared
Rush Hour 3

S

Sahara
The Savages
Saw II
Saw IV
Saw V
Saw: Uncut Edition
Scary Movie 3
Scary Movie 4

School of Rock
Sculptures of the Louvre
The Sea Inside
Secret Agent AKA Danger Man Complete Collection
Secret Window
Seed of Chucky

The Seeker: The Dark is Rising
Semi-Pro
Serenity
Sex and the City
Sexy Beast
Shakespeare in Love
Shall We Dance
Shanghai Noon
Shark Tale
Sherrybaby

Shoot 'Em Up
Shopgirl
Shrek 2
Shrek the Third

Shut Up & Sing
Sicko
Sideways
Signs
The Simpsons Movie
Silent Hill

S1m0ne
Sin City
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
16 Blocks
The 6th Day
The Skeleton Key
Sleeper
Slither
Slumdog Millionaire
Snakes on a Plane

Snow Dogs
Sound and Fury
Spanglish
Speed Racer
Spellbound
Spider-Man
Spider-Man 3
The Spiderwick Chronicles
Spirited Away
The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
Spy Game
The Squid and the Whale

Standing in the Shadows of Motown
Stardust
Starsky & Hutch

Star Trek: 2009
Star Trek: Nemesis
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
State of Play
The Station Agent

Stealing Harvard
The Stepford Wives

Stepmom
Step Up
Stigmata
Strangers on a Train

Stuck on You
Sum of All Fears
Superbad
Superman Returns
Supernatural: Complete Second Season

Super Size Me
Surf's Up
S.W.A.T.
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
The Sweet Hereafter
Sweet Home Alabama

Swimfan
Synecdoche, New York

T

Take the Lead
The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
Talladega Nights
Tarzan: Special Edition
Taxi
Taxi to the Dark Side
Team America: World Police

Tekkonkinkreet
Tennessee Williams Film Collection
10,000 B.C.
Terminator Salvation
Thank You for Smoking
There Will Be Blood
The Tao of Steve
The Terminal
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Thin Man

The Thin Red Line
The Trials of Henry Kissinger
Time Out
The Thief
The Triplets of Belleville
The Third Man
The Trouble with Harry
Thirteen
Thirteen Conversations About One Thing
Thirteen Days
Thirteen Ghosts
13 Going on 30
30 Days of Night
30 Rock: Season 1
This Film is Not Yet Rated
The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada

Three Kings
2 Fast 2 Furious
Toy Story 2
Transamerica

Transformers
Transporter 2
Tropic Thunder
Troy

Tsotsi
Tumbleweeds
28 Weeks Later
The 25th Hour
Twilight
Twisted



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Directory M-P

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M

Madagascar
Mamma Mia!
Man of the House

Man on Fire
Man on Wire
March of the Penguins

Margot at the Wedding
Maria Full of Grace
The Marine

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
The Master of Disguise
The Matador
Match Point

The Matrix Reloaded
Ma Vie en Rose
Mean Girls

Meet the Parents
Meet the Robinsons
Melinda and Melinda
Memoirs of a Geisha

Men of Honor
The Mexican
Miami Vice
Michael Clayton
Mighty Heart, A

Mighty Wind, A
Mildred Pierce
Milk
Million Dollar Baby
Millions
Minority Report
Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous

Mission: Impossible III

Mission to Mars
The Missing
The Mist
Mr. Bean's Holiday
Modern Times
Moon Over Broadway
Monsieur Ibrahim
Monster
Monster-in-Law
Monster's Ball
Monsters vs. Aliens
The Mothman Prophecies
Moulin Rouge
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Mrs. Dalloway
Mrs. Henderson Presents
Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Munich
Muppet Show: Season Two
Murder by Numbers
Muriel's Wedding
Must Love Dogs
My Best Friend's Girl
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
My Bloody Valentine 3-D
My Boss's Daughter
Mystic River
My Super Ex-Girlfriend

N

Nacho Libre
The Nanny Diaries
Nanny McPhee
Never Back Down
The New Guy
New York Minute
Next
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
A Night at the Opera
Nip/Tuck: Complete Fourth Season
No Country for Old Men
No Reservations
The Notebook
Notes on a Scandal
The Notorious Bettie Page
Nowhere in Africa
The Number 23

O

Ocean's Twelve
Ocean's Thirteen
The Office: Season Three
Office Space: Special Edition with Flair

Old School
The Omen
One Hour Photo
Open Range
Open Season
Open Water

The Opposite of Sex
Original Sin
Osmosis Jones
The Other Boleyn Girl
The Others
Over the Hedge

P

The Pacifier
Panic Room
Pan's Labyrinth

Paparazzi
Paradise Now
The Passion of the Christ

Pay it Forward
Pearl Harbor
Penelope
The Perfect Man
Perfect Stranger
Persepolis
The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
The Pianist
Pieces of April
Pineapple Express
Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Pitch Black
Place Vendome
The Polar Express
Poseidon
A Prairie Home Companion
The Prestige
Pride & Prejudice (2005)
Prime
The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
The Producers (2005)
The Punisher




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Directory I-L

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I

The Ice Storm
Igor
I Heart Huckabees
The Illusionist

I'm Not There
The Incredible Hulk
The Incredibles
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
In Her Shoes
Innocence
Inside Deep Throat
The Interpreter
In the Bedroom

In the Valley of Elah
Intolerable Cruelty
Into the Blue
Into the Wild
The Invasion
Invincible
The Invisible
I, Robot
Iron Man
The Island
I Spy

The Italian Job
I've Loved You So Long

J

Jackass Number Two

The James Stewart Signature Collection
The Jane Austen Book Club
Jarhead
The Jayne Mansfield Collection
Jersey Girl

Jesus' Son
Johnny English
Jumper

Junebug
Juno
Just Like Heaven

K

Kandahar

Kate & Leopold
Keeping the Faith
Kicking and Screaming
Kill Bill Vol. 1
Kill Bill Vol. 2
Kingdom of Heaven
King Kong (2005)
Kinky Boots
Kinsey

K-19: The Widowmaker
The Kite Runner
Kit Kittredge: An American Girl
Knocked Up

Knowing
K-Pax
Kung Fu Hustle
Kung-Fu Panda

L

Ladder 49

The Ladies Man
Ladykillers
Land of the Dead
Land of the Lost
Lantana

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
Lars and the Real Girl
Last Chance Harvey
The Last Days (Documentary)
Last Days (Gus Van Sant's)
The Last King of Scotland
The Last Samurai
The Last September
The Laurel & Hardy Collection, Vol. 2
La Vie En Rose
Laws of Attraction

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Leatherheads
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
Letters from Iwo Jima
Let the Right One In
License to Wed
The Libertine
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Life As a House
Life or Something Like It
The Limey
Lions for Lambs
Little Children
Little Miss Sunshine
Live Flesh
Live Free or Die Hard
The Longest Yard
Looney Tunes Golden Collection, Vol. 3
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Lord of War
Lost & Delirious
Lost in Translation
Love in the Time of Cholera
Lovely and Amazing
Lucky Number Slevin
Lucky You
Lust, Caution






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Directory E-H

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Directory A-D

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A

About Schmidt
Across the Universe
Adaptation
Adventureland
The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

Affliction
Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London

A.I.: Artificial Intelligence
Alexander
Alfie
Ali

All About My Mother
Along Came Polly
A Lot Like Love
A Man Apart

Amelie
American Dreamz
American Gangster
American Haunting

American Psycho
A Mighty Heart
Amityville Horror (2005)
Amores Perros
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Anna and the King
The Ant Bully
Antwone Fisher

Anything Else
Apocalypto
Appaloosa
Asphalt Jungle

Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Atonement

Austin Powers in Goldmember
Australia
Auto Focus
A Very Long Engagement
The Aviator
Away From Her

B

Babel
Baby Mama
Bad Company
Balls of Fury
Bandits

The Banger Sisters
Bangkok Dangerous
Baran
The Barbarian Invasions
Batman Begins
Battlefield Earth
Beauty Shop
Bee Movie
Bedazzled
Beowulf

Beverly Hills Chihuahua
Bewitched
Beyond Borders
Beyond the Sea

Big Fish
The Big Sleep
Birth
The Black Dahlia

Black Hawk Down
Black Knight
Blades of Glory
Blood Diamond

Blood Work
Blow
Blue Crush
Bobby
Bogie & Bacall: The Signature Collection
Borat
The Bourne Identity
The Bourne Supremacy
The Bourne Ultimatum
The Brave One
Breach
Breakfast on Pluto
Breaking and Entering
The Break-Up
Bride and Prejudice
Bridget Jones's Diary
The Brigitte Bardot Film Collection
Brokeback Mountain
Brother Bear
Brothers Grimm
The Brown Bunny
The Bucket List
Burn After Reading
The Butterfly Effect

C

Cadillac Records
Calendar Girls

Capote
Cars
Casanova
Casino Royale
Catch Me if You Can
Catwoman
The Cave
The Celebration
The Cell
Cellular
Central Station
Changeling
Charlie and Chocolate Factory
Charlie Wilson's War
Charlotte Gray
Charlotte's Web
Chicago
Chicken Little
Children of Men
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
The Chronicles of Riddick
The Chorus

A Christmas Tale
Chutney Popcorn
Cinderella Man
Clerks II
Click
Cloverfield
Cold Creek Manor
Cold Mountain
The Condemned

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
Confessions of a Shopaholic
Constantine

The Contender
Coraline
The Core
The Corpse Bride, Tim Burton's
Cousin Bette
Coyote Ugly
Crank
Crash
Croupier
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Cursed
Cypher

D

Dan in Real Life
Dark City
The Dark Knight
Date Movie
The Da Vinci Code
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
The Day After Tomorrow
Days of Glory
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
The Dead Girl
Dead Ringer
Dead Silence
Dear Zachary: A Letter to His Son About His Father
Death Race
Death to Smoochy
Deception
The Deep End
Defiance
Definitely, Maybe
The Departed
Derailed
The Descent
Desperate Housewives: Season Three
Deuces Wild
Devil's Rejects
The Devil Wears Prada
Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Dirty Pretty Things
A Dirty Shame
Disturbia
The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Dogma

Domestic Disturbance
Doom
Doubt
Down with Love
Drag Me to Hell
Dreamgirls
Drillbit Taylor
The Duchess
Duets
Dukes of Hazzard
Duplex
Duplicity






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Mission: Impossible III: Movie, DVD, Blu-ray & HD DVD Review (2006)

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Shooting blanks

(Originally published 2005)

The balance has been tipped and this time, it isn't in Tom Cruise's favor.

Going into the actor's soulless "Mission: Impossible III," what occupies your mind isn't just the hope of having a good time, but also what Cruise has become--a pop-culture oddity, the butt of too make jokes.

Over the past year, the actor has been busy shredding his former persona--that of a private man with a few appealing quirks who dependably handed Hollywood the financial goods nearly every time he stepped up to the box office plate.

But now, in terms of his celebrity, his marketability and his credibility, he has done the sort of damage to his career that perhaps only someone like Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston or George Michael could best appreciate.

Just as their sensational pasts will forever color our perceptions of them and anything new they create in the future, the same goes for Cruise, who has stepped out of the protective smokescreen of stardom and shown us exactly who he is. The image of boyish cool with which he once hooked so many has twisted into something coldly unrecognizable.

Cruise's main problem is that all of the noise surrounding him is too distracting. Worse, he doesn't seem much interested in putting a stop to it. We now know too much about the man to suspend disbelief when he attempts to sink into character, which is critical when watching movies, particularly one of his action blockbuster movies.

"Mission: Impossible III" is no exception. As directed by J.J. Abrams from a script he co-wrote with Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, the movie demands that we lose ourselves in a peculiar world peppered with bouts of silly intrigue, shapeless, faceless people who amount to nothing, and a denouement that really is a denoue-zip. Since we can't do so--and since much of the movie is gobbledygook, anyway--the result is underwhelming.

Predictably, the plot is ridiculous, though not as absurd as in the first film, which was so dense, it turned in on itself until it became nothing.

This time out, Cruise's Ethan Hunt is such an emotional softy, his left eye seems forever on the brink of tears, while his right eye remains curiously dry, as if it were made of glass, not unlike Cruise's new persona. Nice trick, particularly when Cruise's left eye cries him a river, as it is wont to do when an irritating little bomb, for instance, is shoved up his nose, and especially since the plot revolves around the abduction of Ethan's new bride, Julia (Michelle Monaghan).

It's the evil Owen Davian (Philip Seymour Hoffman) who is behind those deeds, but they just are payback because Ethan stole from Owen a nuclear device called the "rabbit's foot," which is never fully explained, and which hardly is as lucky as it sounds. Hustling along the periphery are Billy Crudup, Laurence Fishburne, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Ving Rhames and Keri Russell, each wasted in a movie more concerned with whatever slim intensity Cruise can manufacture for the screen. Some of the movie's action scenes are well-conceived, but not one of them is fresh.

Shouldn't a $150 million budget buy more than just another bridge being blown apart? Perhaps even something more interesting than watching Cruise leap between Shanghai skyscrapers?

Given the interest surrounding Cruise, there is no question that "Impossible" will have a good opening, but it won't be the $100 million blockbuster opening he needed in order to prove that he still is relevant and can rise above the bad press. It should concern him that he hasn't pulled that off.

What should worry him is lack of interest that might come later.

Grade: C-

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Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous: Movie & DVD Review (2005)

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When feathers don't travel

(Originally published 2005)

The Sandra Bullock movie, "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous," would undoubtedly like to be considered absolutely fabulous, but I'm afraid it doesn't live up to its title. "Armed with a Few Laughs" would come closer to the mark.

"Amputated by a Weak Script" would nail it.

The film is a sequel to 2000's "Miss Congeniality," a slight, funny comedy in which Bullock's mannish FBI agent Gracie Hart was forced to tart herself up in order to thwart a terrorist plot at the Miss United States pageant.

The running joke was that gruff, graceless Gracie could only do her job if she competed in the pageant, which demanded the sort of refinery and polished beauty that seemed out of Gracie's reach.

The film worked because of Bullock's go-for-broke charm, which is infectious, the reasonably witty script, and the fine supporting cast, which included Candice Bergen, Benjamin Bratt, Michael Caine and William Shatner.

This time out, Bergen, Bratt and Caine have gone missing, which sounds like a mistake because it is a mistake. Still, there is Shatner, who is in rare form here, and also there is Regina King of "Ray" as Gracie's FBI nemesis Sam Fuller, a brooding woman with a nasty left hook who brings to the movie the edge it needs, particularly in Bergen's absence.

As directed by John Pasquin from a script by Marc Lawrence, the action picks up three weeks after the last movie left off, with Gracie reeling after being dumped by her beau, Eric Matthews, and having to conquer several new challenges in her life, such as sudden fame and her own ego.

As the new, fresh-faced posterchild for the FBI, this Gracie has assistants to tend to her clothes, hair and makeup, a best-selling book based on her life, a thriving career on the talk-show circuit, fans to spare, and no time for the little people.

It's a stretch to believe that our Gracie could become so self-involved so quickly, and the movie suffers from the disconnect. Still, the story picks up when the winner of the Miss United States pageant (Heather Burns) and its emcee (Shatner) are kidnapped by a group of thugs demanding a ransom. It's an event that leads Gracie and her glittering entourage to Las Vegas, where she and Sam must enter a drag act in full regalia so they can get to the bottom of the case.

There are problems here, starting with the losses of Bergen, whose pluck is missed, and Michael Caine, who has been replaced by a ridiculously gay stereotype played by Dietrich Bader. The movie also is too long, with a sweet-as-soot closing manufactured to put dimples in our cheeks.

It doesn't. Thanks to the obvious telegraphing, you know this is exactly how the film will end.
Still, Bullock is Bullock and that's almost enough. Along with King, she's working hard here, pressing against mediocrity to create a worthwhile diversion for her fans. They'll appreciate the effort.

Grade: C+

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Milllions: Movie & DVD Review (2005)

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A surprise from Danny Boyle

(Originally published 2005)

From director Danny Boyle, whose “Trainspotting,” “28 Days Later” and “Vacuuming Completely Nude in Paradise” weren't exactly fodder for tots, comes “Millions,” a fable for children in which the director successfully branches into new directions.

In the film, two motherless brothers--7-year-old Damian (Alex Etel), 9-year-old Anthony (Lewis McGibbon)--find their lives forever changed by a stack of cash that literally falls from the sky.

For Damian, a solemn little boy who has the unique gift to speak with saints--a good deal of whom smoke and have halos twinkling above their heads--it’s obvious that the money is a gift from God and that it should be used for charity. For crafty Anthony, who is forever on the make, charity begins at home. For the crooks who lost the money, getting it back is what gives the movie its delightful narrative pull.

As usual, Boyle is a whirling dervish behind the camera, but really, in this sweetly gripping movie, he could have toned down the technical hoo-ha and still come away with a winner. His "Millions" is touching and fearless.

Rated: PG. Grade: A-


DVD Features
  • Available Subtitles: English, Spanish, French
  • Available Audio Tracks: English (Dolby Digital 5.1), Spanish (Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround)
  • Full-length audio commentary by director Danny Boyle and screenwriter Frank Cottrell Boyce
  • Deleted scenes
  • Behind-the-scenes featurettes

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Miami Vice: Movie, DVD, HD DVD Review (2006)

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Beware the mullet

(Originally published 2005)

The first sign that the new Michael Mann movie, "Miami Vice," is going to remove itself from Mann's own popular, 1980s television show, is the moment Colin Farrell slides onscreen sporting a blowout mullet and a blunted Fu Manchu.

Whereas a good deal of the television show became a harbinger for the horrors of what was fashionable during the day--it championed such things a the skinny neck tie, the geri curl, the white shoe and the pastel suit--there is nothing in Farrell's tangled bird's nest of a 'do that suggests that mousse, let alone shampoo, has been applied in days. (The product RID, on the other hand, is a definite possibility.)

This rough-and-tumble version of "Vice," which Mann based on his own script, never finds a story that competes with Miami itself.

At night or at sunset, on the water or along the city's neon corridors, Mann's Miami looks at once hot and cool, dangerous and seductive--just as it should be. Those same qualities should apply to the story, and while they occasionally do, it's only when the characters connect, which they do in just one relationship--and not the one you expect.

It isn't vice cops Sonny Crockett (Farrell) and Ricardo Tubbs (Jamie Foxx, barely registering) who have the chemistry here--these two actors are so detached, some will wonder whether they even were introduced before principal filming began. Instead, it's the relationship that builds between Crockett and the mysterious Isabella (the terrific Gong Li) that gives the movie the soul it otherwise would have lacked.

The story that draws them together is a convoluted pastiche of drug cartel cliches we've seen time and again in better movies and television shows. Crockett and Tubbs find themselves investigating a South American drug kingpin routinely shipping drugs into Miami. They go undercover, working the angles as they slip into this peculiar world of oily toughs. Eventually, Crockett meets Isabella, a gorgeous money launderer who not only works for the drug kingpin, but who also is in a shaky relationship with him.

What she finds in Crockett is pure heat. So, naturally, fireworks and bullets ensue.

What's peculiar about "Miami Vice" is how the movie refuses to fetishize the Ferrari Crocket and Tubbs drive, the expensive speedboats they race, the swank locales they visit, the bling that's part of their job. That was a core element of the television show, the reason so many watched, but here, it's as if the sub-culture doesn't exist, which is hardly true, particularly for Miami, where it continues to thrive.

More pressing is the reason the movie exists. If Mann was determined to ditch the kitsch of his television show and make a serious film, the natural conclusion is that he did so to offer new insights into the current drug culture.

So, what is it? What does he have to share that we haven't seen before? Turns out it isn't much. While the movie does feature a fine shootout here, a swell romance there, and lives are repeatedly put on the line, throughout "Miami Vice," there's the sense that Mann became bored with the ideas that propelled his television show onto the screen, and thus his film into theaters.

After seeing it, you might see why.

Grade: C


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The Mexican: Movie & DVD Review (2001)

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Habla usted mediocre movie?

(Originally published 2001)

Gore Verbinski's "The Mexican” stars Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt in their first cinematic pairing, a collaboration that promises a substantial box office opening before word-of-mouth hands it its last cigarette--and shoots it between the eyes.

The problem with the film isn’t just that its script conspires to keep Roberts and Pitt apart for most of the movie, but that it isn’t interested in being the romantic comedy DreamWorks suggests it is in their television ads. Instead, “The Mexican” is a two-hour road movie that feels like a weeklong slog.

On one level, Verbinski (“Mouse Hunt”) must have been aware of this because, throughout, he tries to compensate by hauling out his cast’s infamous bag of tricks. Sometimes an actor’s quirky personality traits can help to lift a film, but when a director believes they’re enough to carry a film, the entire effort can go south of the border in a hurry.

Such is the case with “The Mexican,” a film that relies so heavily on Julia Roberts’ impossibly wide smile, her ostrich-like gate and her trash mouth--not to mention on Brad Pitt’s devilish grin--it almost forgets it’s supposed to be about something.

In this case, that “something” is a legendary pistol called The Mexican, which Jerry (Pitt), a mob bagman, is ordered to retrieve in Mexico for his evil mob boss (Bob Balaban). But when Jerry’s girlfriend, the psychobabbling Sam (Roberts), learns of the job, she offers Jerry an ultimatum--it’s either her or the gun.

Afraid of being murdered, Jerry chooses Mexico, Sam leaves in a huff for Las Vegas--and into this mix comes the film’s one saving grace: James Gandolfini as Leroy, a hitman whose abduction of Sam results in the film’s most rewarding relationship.

Gandolfini may not be stretching here--Leroy is, after all, modeled after Tony Soprano, the character he plays on “The Sopranos.” But his bearish presence and calm are nevertheless what ground a movie that would have been unthinkably jittery without him in it. What’s better for Gandolfini is that it’s he--not Roberts or Pitt--who surprises us. Just how won’t be revealed here, but the twist surrounding his character is the best part of the movie as it comes as a shock.

Still, for all the hype surrounding the pairing of its two headlining stars, “The Mexican” mostly misfires. Armed with J.H. Wyman’s slight, humorless script and a director not up to the task, the film never strings its handful of good moments into an enjoyable, cohesive whole.

Grade: C

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Memoirs of a Geisha: Movie, DVD, Blu-ray disc Review (2005)

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Saying to hell with subtlety--but with a pretty face

(Originally published 2005)

On one level, the new Rob Marshall movie, "Memoirs of a Geisha," isn't so far removed from his Academy Award-winning 2002 film, "Chicago." Each is extravagantly produced, each is beautiful to look at, each features storylines that court their share of drama. And yet there is a crucial difference between them that Marshall either overlooked or ignored on his way to directing his sophomore effort.

"Chicago" is intended to be a spectacle. It's meant to be robustly American. Marshall's overblown sensibility not only suited the movie, it would have died without it. The film worked because of the high camp it courted, the melodrama it served so well, the razzle-dazzle that winked and blinked from every corner of the screen.

Watching "Geisha," a rather different story about Japanese girls sold on the open market, enslaved for work and sex, and then humiliated when their virginity is sold to the highest bidder (provided there is one), you have to wonder how a similar sensibility works for this movie. The quick answer depends on what brings you to it.

If you're only interested in the pretty painted faces and the intricate kimonos, or the tense intrigue, savage gameplay and tug of romance you might find in a novel by, say, Jackie Collins by way of James Clavell, then the style suits this blockbuster hopeful well.

But if you know something about the geisha, whose illusion of serene beauty belied a difficult life beyond which most could comprehend, one could argue that a more restrained approach would have been more effective, with the melodramatic moments pared to a minimum in favor of allowing room for depth and subtlety.

As written by Robin Swicord from Arthur Golden's best-selling book, "Memoirs of a Geisha" could have been terrific if it didn't feel as if it were serving a sizable budget.

Taken for what it is--soap opera, nothing more--it can be entertaining, particularly after the awkward first third, in which Marshall overplays every emotion to the point of laying it bare onscreen. What he doesn't seem to appreciate is that his story is set in the East, which handles its emotions a bit differently than we in the West. Still, since his movie is designed for Westerners, who demand an onslaught of emotion from a film like this, the clanging of cultures can nevertheless be oddly fun, regardless of whether that was Marshall's intent.

For instance, when the main character, a geisha-in-training named Sayuri (Ziyi Zhang), finally rises up against her hateful nemesis geisha Hatsumomo (Gong Li)--a teahouse tramp who has been trying to undo Sayuri for years, ever since she was a child dropped at the okiya--the hair pulling, slapping, shrieking and shoving that ensues zips with energy.

Grounding the movie is Sayuri's geisha trainer, Mameha, who is played with reserve and grace by the Chinese actress Michelle Yeoh (Zhang and Li also are Chinese, which has created something of a controversy). Even when she must talk to Sayuri in sexual metaphors about eels finding their way into caves, she does it with tact, gleaning over the dialogue without a trace of humor.

"We don't become a geisha to pursue our own destinies," Mameha says. "We become geisha because we have no choice. Agony and beauty for us live side by side. Geisha paints her face to hide her face. It is not for geisha to want. It is not for geisha to feel. Geisha is an artist of the floating world. She dances, she sings, she entertains you--whatever you want. The rest is shadows. The rest is secret."

Well, not quite secret--at least not in this movie, where every secret is revealed.

Sending the film over the moon is Mother (Kaori Momoi), who bought Sayuri from her destitute parents when Sayuri was still a child named Chiyo, and who can do things with a pipe that border on the obscene. There's Pumpkin (Zoe Weizenbaum in youth, Youki Kudoh as an adult), Sayuri's one-time friend, who becomes so colorful as she ages, she could decorate a Blue Hawaii better than any old paper umbrella.

For pining Sayuri, her love interest is Chairman (Ken Watanabe), who was kind to her as a child and who has had her heart ever since. The question to which "Geisha" builds is whether Sayuri will somehow find a way to be with Chairman. Will her childhood crush be realized, perhaps even consummated? As the movie blasts into the throes of World War II, Sayuri is separated from the Chairman and then brought back to him by circumstance. Filled with self doubt, covered with dirt and nearly ruined by war, she realizes that she must become a geisha again if she is to see him.

"Mother had reopened the okiya," she says, "but my powder box was empty, my charcoal had turned to dust. And yet it was my one chance to see the Chairman again. Would he notice my weathered hands, the threadbare silk? The world had changed completely--had he? And would I finally find the strength to tell him all I felt?"

In this very commercial of movies, where the seams show and the plot becomes threadbare in spite of the Academy Award-worthy costume design, that question is beside the point. It doesn't exactly take some tossed tea leaves to figure out how it will end.

Grade: C+

(Also available on Blu-ray disc)

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The Exorcism of Emily Rose: Movie & DVD Review (2005)

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Screaming to be heard in a mediocre movie

(Originally published 2005)

"The Exorcism of Emily Rose" isn't what you might expect from a movie about an exorcism gone awry. Levitating tweens, rails of pea soup, and young ladies who lose their manners and their bladders at cocktail parties have no place here.

Instead, what audiences get is "The Trial of Father Moore."

The film is courtroom drama first, an exorcism second. That might disappoint those who would prefer a horror movie focused solely on the expelling of the anti-Christ, but take heart. When it comes to telling the difference between demons and lawyers, the lines of evil are blurred here, with both having their day in hell.

Directed by Scott Derrickson from a script he co-wrote with Paul Harris Boardman, "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" is based on the real-life case of Anneliese Michel, a young Bavarian woman diagnosed with epilepsy in her youth who later died in 1976 after undergoing an exorcism.

Some assumed Anneliese was predisposed to seeing evil, so sensitive to the paranormal that it entered her body and transformed it. Others placed the blame on what they assumed were Grand Mal seizers, which allegedly warped her mind and paralyzed her body, though there was never any proof that Anneliese had epilepsy.

So what gives? Since that's up for debate, the movie takes the most commercial approach--Tom Wilkinson is Father Moore, the beleaguered priest who botched the exorcism of Emily Rose (Jennifer Carpenter), a troubled woman raised in a staunchly Catholic household whose soul was overcome by six demons, including Lucifer himself.

Bible in hand, Holy Water at the ready, Father Moore goes through the robust motions of an exorcism--in the middle of a thunderstorm, no less, and on Halloween to boot (the real Anneliese died in July).

His efforts prove in vain. After Emily shrieks in a clutch of foreign tongues, contorts her body like someone out of Cirque du Soleil, and screams at the screen until her capillaries burst along with ours, she curls up in a ball and dies, her eyes rolling back in her head like two poached eggs ready to be pulled from the boiling pot.

Simmering at the core of this movie are Laura Linney as Erin Bruner, the agnostic lawyer who takes Father Moore's case only to be disturbed by "evil forces" herself, and Campbell Scott as Ethan Thomas, the religious prosecutor hired to put Father Moore in jail because the man's actions allegedly pushed Emily to her death.

All of this is manufactured to the point of exhaustion, and while the cast is good and the flashback format does allow us to be voyeurs in the theatrics of Emily's possession, there's something uncomfortably cheap about the fact that we never come to know Emily herself. Here, she's merely an ambiguous, frightened shell, the hook for a movie that derives its entertainment from her suffering.

That's nothing new for the genre, but it's what will prevent "Emily Rose" from being taken as seriously as all involved would have enjoyed.

Grade: C+



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Employee of the Month: Movie & DVD Review (2006)

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Bronze star

(Originally published 2006)

By virtue of its title alone, is it too much to expect "Employee of the Month" to be something special, perhaps a cut above your everyday comedy? Shouldn’t the jokes make that extra effort, as well as the cast? Is it unreasonable to come to this particular movie seeking fresh ideas — maybe even just a few?

Without the film attempting to break free from the old jokes that undermine it, how can one pin a gold star to it?

The movie, which director Greg Coolidge co-wrote with Don Calame and Chris Conroy, isn’t a bust — it’s likable enough. Sometime it makes you smile. Occasionally an actor nails a good line. But big laughs? You won’t find them on Aisle 11 — or any of the film’s other aisles, for that matter.

The movie stars Dane Cook as Zack Bradley, a bright yet unmotivated box, uh, boy (he crested 30 some time ago) at the big-box superstore, Super Club. Zack lives with his feisty grandmother and appears to be stuck in a rather large rut. His mode of transportation, for instance, isn’t a car or even a scooter — instead, it’s a motorized mini bike, one perfectly suited to embrace Zack’s bruised inner child.

Turning Zack’s bruise a shade darker is Vince (Dax Shepard), a cruel, corporate brown-noser who is Super Club’s fastest and, to the public, its most adored cashier. The man is a veritable juggling act behind the register, where the ladies love him — and the industrial-sized can lights above his head appropriately turn his bleached blond hair into ringlets of fire.

From the start, these two loathe each other to the point of distraction, so it’s only natural that war ignites between them the moment a lovely new employee comes aboard and catches their eye.

That would be Amy (Jessica Simpson), who arrives at Super Club on a scarlet red carpet of rumors that suggest she is sexually available for any man who wins employee of the month. Lovely girl. Since Vince is on the fast track to win the store’s award, Zack believes the only way he will have a chance at Amy’s red carpet is if he steps up to the plate and pulls off the win himself.

What ensues is porridge, though at least it isn’t served cold. Warming the film are faint echoes of Mike Judge’s "Office Space," which helps. Also, a few scenes do connect, such as a date shared between Amy and Zack in which he woos her at the store after hours (the boxed wine is a hit, as are Amy’s oversized ears).

More clever is the idea that high up within the towering stacks of products you find at such industrial-sized stores, Zach and his box-buddy pals (Andy Dick, Brian George, Harland Williams) have created a hideaway niche in which they can steal away for a round of cards while forgetting the minutiae shuffling below them.

Sometimes, you sense the more interesting, funnier movie would have taken place there.

Grade: C

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Empire Falls: Movie & DVD Review (2004)

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Wrestling a good book into a weak mini-series

(Originally published 2004)

It collapses.

From director Fred Schepisi, this underwhelming adaptation of Richard Russo's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, filmed in Maine, will leave native Mainers covering their ears.

The accents are wrong, with the film's lauded cast making the same mistakes so many have made before them--they make us sound like village idiots.

The problems extend to Schepisi's direction and to Russo's script, which generate a soap opera of awkward situations, forced relationships, and slow pacing. Caricatures take the place of characters. The film is so stagy, you watch its hive of interweaving stories from the outside, never really believing there's an inside.

The core of this three-hour journey has its heart in the right place--the movie is concerned with the class differences of small towns, the loss of those small towns when they fall on difficult times, and how those complexities come to affect its characters, particularly its main character, Miles Roby (Ed Harris). But unlike the more interesting book, those complexities fail to transcend the screen; elements become mawkish.

Like any soap opera, "Empire" isn't without its moments--Joanne Woodward gives it her best shot as the wealthy yet one-dimensional Francine Whiting, and Robin Wright Penn does some fine work as the cancer-stricken Grace Roby. Others don't fare as well. Paul Newman is silly and predictable as the town drunk, Max; Helen Hunt is miscast as the sketchy Janine Roby; and Harris' Miles never connects.

When I interviewed Harris after filming had wrapped on "Falls," he said that what he enjoyed about the movie is that "it takes its time in telling its story." Turns out he wasn't joking. "Empire Falls" takes too much time--and then it takes an hour more.

Grade: C-

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The Emperor's New Groove: DVD Review (2005)

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Same groove


(Originally published 2005)

New groove? Not quite.

This re-release of Disney's "The Emperor's New Groove" is being called "The New Groove Edition," but with the exception of a few deleted scenes and a commentary by the filmmakers, there isn't much new here--save for the packaging. So it's especially nice that the movie is so good.

The film ranks among the studio's fresher undertakings. Inspired by the looser drawings of Chuck Jones and Tex Avery, the movie exists to be fun and it succeeds, particularly with the excellent voice work by David Spade, John Goodman, Patrick Warburton and Eartha Kitt.

The film feels slightly too long even at 78 minutes, but that’s a quibble. With Eartha Kitt's familiar growl punctuating her manic face, her bony Yzma is one of the best Disney villains to come along in years.

Rated G.

Grade: A-

DVD Features:

  • Available Audio Tracks: English (Dolby Digital 5.1), English (DTS 5.1), French (Unknown Format)
  • Commentary by: the filmmakersUnknown Format
  • Deleted Scenes
  • The Emperor's Got Game -- Help Kuzco Get From Pacha's House Back To The Castle
  • Rascal Flatts Music Video -- Learn To "Walk The Llama Llama" as Featured On THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE Soundtrack
  • Sting's Making The Music Video -- Featuring The Academy Award®–Nominated Song "My Funny Friend And Me"
  • Behind The Scenes -- A Fast-Paced Tour Of How The Film Was Made

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Elizabethtown: Movie & DVD Review (2005)

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Say everything

(Originally published 2005)

Cameron Crowe's “Elizabethtown” is a warm and fuzzy parable about failure and redemption, life and death, love won and love lost--love hanging in the balance.

From Crowe’s own script, the movie is Hollywood all the way. It’s slick and well produced, with a title that makes it sound precious and nostalgic because it is precious and nostalgic.

Here is a film so devoid of hard edges that even a pending suicide is treated as a gimmicky joke. Regardless of how tough life becomes for its main character, Drew Baylor (Orlando Bloom)--a failed shoe designer whose bum sneakers cost his company nearly $1 billion in losses--it never feels particularly trying, not even when Drew endures the sort of public ridicule normally reserved for the ultra famous.

Instead, in Crowe's dreamlike world of life lessons learned along this movie's meandering path, real life is tucked neatly away so that the director can make room for the rather sizable suspension of disbelief audiences will need in order to enjoy the film.

The good news is that isn’t difficult to do.

After an amusingly tense lecture given to Drew by his icy boss (Alec Baldwin), who tells Drew that his screw-up is so big, it will affect the global community, Drew returns home prepared to kill himself. And then his cell phone rings. On the line is his sister, Heather (Judy Greer), with the sad news that their father has dropped dead in Elizabethtown, Ky., where he was visiting family, the likes of whom Drew only faintly knows.

According to Heather, their mother, Hollie (Susan Sarandon), is unable to handle the details, and neither can she. Would Drew take care of things? "You're the oldest," she says to him. "You need to do this."

And so Drew does it, fully intending to tend to his father's death so that he can then tend to his own. Since few commercial movies with a substantial budget would allow for that, he meets a potential love interest in Claire (Kirsten Dunst), a quirky flight attendant who might have been considered a stalker if she didn't have such appealing insights into life that tend to get people like Drew back on the right path.

As with Crowe's best and best-known movies, "Say Anything," Almost Famous" and "Jerry Maguire,” this is a soundtrack-driven film whose nostalgic songs give it more emotional weight than it likely would have had without their inclusion.

The cast is strong, but the loose way the movie is assembled and the seriocomic tone Crowe strikes make parts of it feel incomplete, which is ironic since for Crowe, coming to a state of completion is the point of all his films. Will audiences leave "Elizabethtown," saying "He completes me" about Drew and his story?

Doubtful. But they won't have wasted their time, either.

Grade: B-

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Elf: Movie & DVD Review (2003)

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Here's a good picture

(Originally published 2003)

The first few minutes of the funny new comedy “Elf” features a scene in which a dozen of the little darlings dart screaming from a burning tree house reminiscent of the one famously inhabited by the Keebler elves.

In what’s apparently a cookie-cooking mishap, the elves’ ovens burst into flames, leaving the tree engulfed in fire and the terrified tiny ones running for their lives. If you listen carefully, you can hear one especially frazzled elf commenting that if only he had been a cobbler, none of this would have happened to him.

In the real world, nothing is funny about a fire. Still, the way it’s handled here is unexpected and uproarious. At my screening, it brought the crowd to life, which was a nice change after seeing so many glum faces at “The Matrix Revolutions.”

The Keebler scene has nothing to do with the film’s plot, but it does help to establish the dark, absurdist tone director Jon Favreau favors early on. By its midpoint, “Elf” gives way to a sugary sweet undercurrent that wants to warm your heart with holiday cheer, but Favreau, working from a script by David Berenbaum, walks the line well. He doesn’t overdose on the sugar and, as such, his film becomes a bright spot in the budding holiday movie season.

In the film, “Saturday Night Live” alum Will Ferrell finds his best role to date as Buddy, a bumbling, 30-year-old man-child who, as an orphaned infant, crawled into Santa’s (Ed Asner) sack one Christmas Eve and was swept away to the North Pole.

There, in spite of his lumbering, decidedly non-elfin size, he was raised as an elf by Papa Elf (a perfectly cast Bob Newhart), who eventually encourages Buddy to return to New York City to reconnect with his real-life father, Walter (James Caan), a difficult man who has long been a mainstay on Santa’s naughty list.

Upon arriving in Manhattan, Buddy takes a day job as a department store elf—and the movie gets a lift, flirting with the sort of comedy David Sedaris captured in his biting, hilarious series of essays for National Public Radio, “The Santaland Diaries.” Ultimately, Favreau sidesteps Sedaris’ caustic brand of cynicism, but not before getting in a few clever jabs at the gross commercialization of the Christmas season. It’s only then that he adopts a more family-friendly tone and bolsters what the holiday season is supposed to mean.

Mary Steenburgen, Daniel Tay and Zooey Deschanel offer support as Buddy’s loving step mom, lonely half-brother, and love interest, respectively, but they have nothing on Ferrell, who finds himself, at long last, in a movie that realizes his gifts as a comedian. This is that rare fit between director, writer and star, with the sweet, wide-eyed, anything-goes Ferrell going a long way in securing the next several years of his movie career.

Grade: B

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8 Women: Movie & DVD Review (2002)

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Catfight: The Musical

(Originally published 2002)

Francois Ozon's "8 Women" tries to make George Cukor's 1939 catfight, "The Women," look like a quaint Sunday prayer meeting among the best of friends. While it doesn’t quite pull that off (what could?), it has a great time trying and, in the end, it stands as a worthy homage to the unforgettably bitchy mood Cukor created in his film.

Set in the 1950s, "8 Women" is a haughty, heavy-breathing melodrama based on Robert Thomas' play. It's so over-the-top, it almost knocks itself out.

The film begins with a rush of strings and trumpets from Krishna Levy's triumphantly purple score and a glimmering curtain of crystal beads shimmering in a soft pastel hue. Both ground the movie in camp while priming the viewer for what’s to come. Certainly, you hope, that whatever is lurking beyond that curtain will be just as festooned, bejeweled and grotesque as the curtain itself.

It is. Indeed, when the beads wink apart, they reveal a huge snowbound French country estate that, inside, is the sort of Technicolor dreamworld that could put a crease in Vincente Minnelli's pants.

What ensues feels like Robert Altman's "Gosford Park" as written by Agatha Christie on a nitrous oxide drip. The film has more bite and more histrionics than Altman’s film, but then it also has six full-length musical numbers performed by eight famous French actresses, all of whom play suspects in the murder of the estate's wealthy owner, a man found dead early on with a knife in his back.

Who did it? Take your pick. The film’s bevy of lusty, busty babes--Catherine Deneuve, Danielle Darrieux, Fanny Ardant, Isabelle Huppert, Firmine Richard, Virginie Ledoyen, Ludivine Sagnier and Emmanuelle Beart—all could be the killer. But who has the true motive? And is the film ever really what it seems?

As it becomes clear that somebody here is more clever with the cutlery than she’s letting on, the film channels everyone from Jacques Demy to Douglas Sirk as these women work hard to root each other out. If the story sometimes strains against its seams--not unlike Deneuve in her dress--the cast is consistently strong, particularly Deneuve and Ardant, bravely throwing caution to the wind and mugging fearlessly in an all-out effort to bring down the house.

Grade: B

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The Ant Bully: Movie, DVD, HD DVD, Blu-ray Review (2006)

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Walking in their six shoes

(Originally published 2006)

The computer-animated movie, "The Ant Bully," knows a few things about bullies, most of which we already know--all of which bear repeating.

For instance, the movie understands that for the most part, the average bully is a weak little miscreant whose fists and tough talk, when pressed into action by real intimidation, pack the punch of a feather. It also knows that not all bullies are created equally and that some just need a little nudge to lift them to the higher level of human existence they resist. That can take some doing, though the work generally is worth it, even if the methods for promoting change can be somewhat extreme.

Take, for example, young Lucas (voice of Zach Tyler Eisen), a hapless, 10-year-old boy so relentlessly bullied by a menacing group of neighborhood brats, that he becomes something a bully himself.

It isn’t just his family that feels the redirected weight of his rage and humiliation, but also the little ant colony nesting in his front yard. With zeal, Lucas attacks it with crushing streams of water, creating such havoc inside the colony that the ant wizard Zok (Nicolas Cage) decides what Lucas needs is a taste of his own medicine.

With the help of his ant girlfriend, Hova (Julia Roberts), Zok devises a potion that when spilled into Lucas’ ear, will cause him to shrink to the size of an ant. Only then, when Lucas is brought down to size, can Zok and the rest of the colony truly have their way with him, though not in ways that you might expect.

The movie, which writer-director John A. Davis based on John Nickle's book, brings in the Queen (Meryl Streep), a towering, serene presence who looks and speaks as if she just stepped off the utopian mother ship. What she demands for Lucas is a stretch of time living among ants. Maybe then, if he's forced to walk in their shoes (all six of them), he will come to appreciate all that he wanted to destroy.

When it comes to messages, this movie has its share of them--teamwork, understanding and tolerance all are underscored. For some, those messages might seem overdone, but these days, with a certain Hollywood star joining Hezbollah in headlining the news, an argument could be made that they can't be done enough.

The film's animation is particularly strong, though not in ways that overwhelm the story or the characters, which is typically how these computer-animated movies go. Several scenes are standouts, such as a gentle flight across a living room “meadow” with flower petals used as hang gliders, a war with wasps that recalls one of the battle scenes in "Star Wars: Episode III," and a very creepy fight with an exterminator (Paul Giamatti) that will leave some scratching their heads for all the wrong reasons.

Grade: B+




PL ast AYTI o n 3


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Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy: Movie & DVD Review (2004)

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Skewering the easily skewered

(Originally published 2004)

The Will Ferrell comedy, “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy,” is a crude, funny satire that tackles local television anchors and their newscasts.

Those are easy targets to skewer, but not unlike “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” “Murphy Brown” or “Broadcast News,” the movie is broad and harmless, mining more truth from its subject than some in the biz will want to admit.

As directed by Adam McKay from a script he co-wrote with Ferrell, “Anchorman” is essentially 91 minutes of good-natured hair pulling, which is especially cheeky since the group getting its hair pulled would rather not have theirs touched, thank you very much.

Corrosive but never mean, the movie only exists to have a good time. It’s set in the early 1970s, when the feminist movement was an unpleasant notion for some, cable TV was in its infancy and local newscasts had the sort of prominence that comes with less competition. McKay and Ferrell poke fun at the times and the characters, but they also counter with an affection for both that’s almost sweet.

In the film, Ferrell is Ron Burgundy, the enormously popular, hirsute television anchor for San Diego’s Channel 4 who loves his scotch and his lady friends almost as much as he loves being No. 1 in the ratings.

Burgundy is a big local star and he knows it. He’s the man, the one to watch, the “handsome beast” people trust at the end of the day to give them the news. Sure he’s an idiot, but people like his macho bluster and they especially like the way he ends each newscast: “Stay classy, San Diego.”

When station manager Ed Harken (Fred Willard) hires reporter Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) to add diversity to the newsroom, Ron has a short-lived affair with her before being slapped with a reality check.

Sharp, savvy Veronica has anchor dreams of her own. When Ron goes missing one night, Veronica fights to fill in for him as anchor, the ratings soar when she does, and she gets promoted to co-anchor as a result.

Forced to admit he might have met his match in a woman, chauvinist Ron decides to fight back with the help of his bumbling news team--closeted gay sportscaster Champ Kind (David Koechner), dim-witted weatherman Brick Tamland (Steve Carell), and investigative reporter Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd). Needless to say, complications ensue.

Running throughout “Anchorman” is an element of surprise that gives the movie the raw energy of standup comedy.

The movie isn’t static, but alive. It’s dumb, but in a smart way. There’s thought behind the jokes, life to the performances. Several unexpected cameos flip the film on its side, particularly when the competing local affiliates come together to settle old grudges and heal bruised egos over a bloody brawl. With the characters wielding instruments of death in an effort to silence their competition, the scene is a standout, proving the most honest hallucination to hit theaters this year.

Grade: B+

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Amityville Horror: Movie & DVD Review (2005)

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Out of focus

(Originally published 2005)

The new “Amityville Horror” movie mirrors 1979's “Amityville Horror” movie in that it opens with news that the story is “based on true events.” So right away, if you know Hollywood, your skin is crawling and you're on the edge of your seat.

After all, in Hollywood, what constitutes the truth?

As far as this story is concerned, the truth is ripped from some familiar headlines. In Long Island in 1974, there was indeed a family, the DeFeos, who was murdered by their eldest son, Ronald Jr., in their Dutch Colonial with the good wood work and the nice medallions.

A year after the murders, there also was a family, the Lutzes, who bought the house at a bargain price only to flee it 28 days later. Was the woodwork too much for them to polish? Were the medallions too far out of reach to dust? Not quite. Apparently--and here is where things get sketchy--ghosts were underfoot. The Lutzes, sufficiently freaked out, fled the house, leaving behind their possessions and traces of their sanity.

Since too many people are told at some point in their lives that they have at least one good story in them, the Lutzes conveniently decided that this was theirs to tell in print.

With Jay Anson, they collaborated on a best-selling book that came out when the culture was still high on hallucinogens, still entranced by the Mansons, and frightened by such horror movie hits as “The Exorcist” and “The Omen.”

Possession was a pop culture darling in the '70s--you could announce at a cocktail party that you were the anti-Christ and people would consume you in earnest banter--so you have to wonder whether the Lutzes' tale of real-estate possession was for real or whether it was stretched thin for commercial reasons.

As directed by Andrew Douglas from Scott Kosar's script, “The Amityville Horror” proves precisely what the original movie proved--it doesn't matter whether the Lutzes story was true because truth in Hollywood doesn't matter. What matters are the numbers and “The Amityville Horror,” with its sexy cast, familiar story and cheap thrills, had all of the numbers it needed to become tops at the weekend box office.

So, how is the film? Nothing special. It's exactly what you expect from a modern-day horror movie--an assorted bag of assembled cliches, this one with bits of “The Shining,” “In Cold Blood,” “The Exorcist,” “Misery,” and any number of those “Ring” movies tossed in to give it box office curb appeal.

As George Lutz, Ryan Reynolds looks good swinging an ax as he turns on his family--but he's no Jack Nicholson or, for that matter, even James Brolin. As Kathy Lutz, Melissa George shrieks on cue, but in her, you sense more motherly worry than outright terror, which is what the film needs. And as for the demonic flies that made such a chilly addition to the original film? They make a brief, thrill-ride appearance here and then they are gone--not unlike this movie will be in three weeks.

Grade: C-

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Monday, September 3, 2007

American Dreamz: Movie & DVD Review (2006)

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No, we don't. And the movie is no good, either.

(Originally published 2006)

Paul Weitz's "American Dreamz" assembles a sumptuous buffet for the viewer, but since Weitz isn’t hungry, he just stares at the spread, dumbly refusing to eat when really he should gorge.

The film attempts to send up "American Idol," George W. Bush, pop culture and our fascination with fame, and yet somehow--incredibly--it misses on every conceivable level to get the job done.

How do you screw up an opportunity such as this? Even if you love "American Idol," love Bush, love where the culture is going, adore fame, you would think there is no way you could miss taking them all on, even if you felt you had to play it safe by doing it with affection. Certainly even then a measure of good-natured hair-pulling wouldn’t be out of line. Perhaps it might even be fun.

"American Dreamz" isn’t even a little fun. It's dull and generic, with the ongoing sense that it was conceived by some dim-witted enfant banal handed a Handicam and sent wandering into the back lot, where it encountered a sideshow it couldn’t understand.

In its most streamlined form, the film is about an attempt by our down-in-the-dumps President (Dennis Quaid) to lift his disappointing poll numbers by appearing on the nation's most-watched television talent show, "American Dreamz." The idea is that by being on a hip show, the hipness will wear off. It doesn't, though the President's chief of staff (Willem Dafoe, lamely channeling Cheney) and bland wife (Marcia Gay Harden, lamely channeling Laura) believe it might.

Hugh Grant is Martin Tweed, the show's critic who is meant to be a riff on Simon Cowell, but forget it--it's a bad imitation, with Grant mining none of Cowell’s caustic directness or his sly sense of humor.

Mandy Moore is Sally Kendoo, a Midwestern climber who considers ditching her boyfriend, William Williams (Chris Klein), when she's chosen to appear on "American Dreamz," but who has second thoughts when Tweed suggests that William's war injury might help her chances of winning. Add to this the inclusion of a terrorist Arab bomber named Omer (Sam Golzari), who has a thing for show tunes and a flamboyantly gay cousin (Tony Yalda) at the ready, and what you have is a melting pot of stereotypes moving toward an explosive ending. Omer, you see, plans to blow up the President onstage.

The 25th anniversary of “Cats" sounds more entertaining than this drivel, which does come as a surprise. Weitz is a fine director. His "In Good Company" was one of the better independent films of 2004. His "About a Boy," co-written and directed with his brother, Chris, was smarter than it had any right to be, particularly since one false move with that film could have tipped it into pandering.

So, what happened here? The problem with "American Dreamz" is that it has no bite. The jokes are lazy and fall flat. There is no rhythm to the show, no sense that anyone here is having a good time. Malaise is an undercurrent that robs the movie of energy. The performances range from the boring to the Ambien-induced, with the movie offering nothing memorable along the way.

In the end, to quote Cowell, it’s hideous.

Grade: D-


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A Man Apart: Movie & DVD Review (2003)

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Vin Diesel: Actor

(Originally published 2003)

If your last film sounded as if it were promoting porn and if it featured you parading about in a sheepskin pimp coat, where would you go from there? Straight into counseling? Perhaps to a bar? Maybe into a coma?

Not Vin Diesel.

Fresh from the success of "XXX," the actor now takes to the screen in "A Man Apart," a violent revenge drama directed by F. Gary Gray that was shot before the actor’s big hits, “XXX" and "The Fast and the Furious,” but which has been sitting on a studio shelf for years because of problems with its ending.

Those problems remain well intact, but now, with Diesel firmly established as a headlining star, the film has been dusted off, reworked in an editing bay and, for better or worse, released in theaters.

As directed by Gray from a script by Christian Gudegast and Paul Scheuring, the film stars Diesel as Sean Vetter, a former L.A. thug turned DEA agent who is psychologically torn apart after the brutal murder of his wife, Stacy (Jacqueline Obradors), “the love of his life, the only thing he had” who died in a bloody shootout at their beachside home.

Who stuck it to Stacy? For Vetter, it comes down to two feared drug kingpins: Memo Lucero (Geno Silva), the conniving Colombian drug lord Vetter and his partner, Demetrius (Larenz Tate), capture and lock away early in the film, and the elusive El Diablo, a mysterious man determined to keep pushing cocaine from Mexico to California, regardless of Vetter’s threats to strangle his operation.

Convinced that El Diablo is his man, Vetter enlists Demetrius and his old gangbanging buddy, Big Sexy (George Sharperson), to help find the creep and avenge Stacy’s death.

In spite of what its characters’ names suggest, what ensues is not the cartoon action fantasies of “XXX” and “Furious,” but a movie that has energy, rage and heart to spare, so much so that it codes midway through and collapses on screen in one big, convoluted mess.

The problem with “A Man Apart” isn’t what you might expect—it’s not Diesel, who took the role knowing he’d have to act and does a fair job of it here, holding the screen with the same charisma and intensity he showcased in “Boiler Room” while only occasionally overdoing it with Vetter’s anger management issues.

Instead, what unhinges the movie is its ongoing lapses in logic. For instance, how can Vetter, a DEA agent earning a modest salary, afford what’s clearly a multimillion-dollar beachside retreat? How does he have the power to release Memo to another prison when he’s no longer with the force? When El Diablo’s identity is revealed in the awful, out-of-left-field ending, it’s immediately clear that he could have killed Vetter any number of times. So why didn’t he?

You tell me.

Grade: D+


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A Lot Like Love: Movie & DVD Review (2005)

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A lot like nothing

(Originally published 2005)

A lot like something I can't print here.

Ashton Kutcher and Amanda Peet are Oliver and Emily, two empty, presumably adorable twentysomethings who enjoy a rambunctious restroom quickie on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. Cramped quarters, but they’re young and they’re limber, so they make a go of it.

What launches from this is a seven-year relationship fraught with a string of misunderstandings designed to keep them apart.

If only it had.

Divided into chapters, the film is neither fresh nor spontaneous, though plenty about it is tedious and annoying. With Oliver consumed in his online diaper business (groan) and Emily bedding more losers than you’d find in a season’s worth of "Elimidate," this forced take on "When Harry Met Sally" is pointless.

From its first frame, it’s moving toward one ending, the likes of which is so clear to the viewer, the ability to read tea leaves isn’t exactly necessary to know how it will turn out.

Grade: D


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Ali: Movie & DVD Review (2001)

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In your face--and with a punch

(Originally published 2001)

Michael Mann's "Ali" opens in 1964 with a terrific blast of showmanship, one that fuses the political unrest of black Americans and the celebration of black culture to the man who would come to be revered by many as a major catalyst for social awareness and change: Muhammad Ali.

The film, which Mann co-wrote with Stephen Rivele, Christopher Wilkinson and Eric Roth, begins with a rush as Sam Cooke (David Elliott) belts out a searing string of ballads at a Harlem nightclub.

As the legendary soul singer brings the crowd to its feet, Mann layers Cooke's vocals over a montage of Ali's life, starting with his back-of-the-bus childhood as Cassius Clay--his name before he converted to Islam--and ending the sequence with his title match against Sonny Liston (Michael Bentt).

In a movie filled with memorable moments, Mann's recreation of the Clay-Liston bout is superb, a beautifully conceived, blow-by-blow account that puts audiences squarely in the ring as Clay (Will Smith) scores a major upset by winning the match--and thus changing his life forever.

The two-and-a-half hours that follow aren’t as light on their feet, but the film never drags. As Mann condenses the next 10 years of Ali’s life, he lingers on its major turning points--Ali’s sometimes rewarding, sometimes turbulent relationship with Malcolm X (Mario Van Peebles) and the Nation of Islam, his struggle to come to terms with how his fame affected those close to him, and his near imprisonment for refusing to be drafted by the U.S. Army, which resulted in the loss of his heavyweight title and sent him into a period of introspection and seclusion.

Culminating in 1974 with the infamous “Rumble in the Jungle,” at which Ali forged a spectacular comeback in his fight against George Foreman, the film builds to a stirring conclusion in Zaire, but in spite of what its television and print ads claim (“Forget what you think you know”), it ultimately offers nothing new about the man.

The film is only ever an entertaining overview, effectively capturing Ali’s divisiveness and the mood of the country during the war years, but since it barely touches on Ali’s less crowd-pleasing qualities, such as his adulterous affairs, it can’t be considered a complete portrait of what were arguably the most defining years of his adult life.

With pitch-perfect supporting performances from Jada Pinkett Smith as Ali’s first wife, Sonji; Ron Silver as his longtime trainer, Angelo Dundee; and Jamie Foxx as Bundini Brown; “Ali” may not be the greatest film about Ali (that belongs to Leon Gast’s 1996 documentary, “When We Were Kings”), but it is engrossing and it does feature two performances not to be missed--John Voight’s Howard Cosell and Will Smith’s Ali, each of whom are outstanding in a movie that delivers a rousing--if superficial--knockout.

Grade: B+


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Alfie: Movie & DVD Review (2004)

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So, what's it all about?

(Originally published 2004)

So, what’s it all about, this movie, “Alfie”? Is it still for the moment we live?

It is after significant changes were made to the 1966 original, which made Michael Caine a star. That film was released at the height of the sexual revolution and it was viewed as a grim comedy, with Caine’s swaggering lothario shagging his “birds” all over London, regardless of whether they were nesting with another or flying solo.

For Alfie, it didn’t matter. His life was about the hedonistic joy of the conquest--morality be damned. By the end of the movie, he is faced with the ugly ramifications of his behavior--a backstreet abortion for one of his mistresses, and the idea that Shelley Winters, of all people, dumps him. Still, there’s never any question that the sting Alfie feels at those moments will prevent him from reverting back to his old lifestyle. He is, after all, who he is.

It was a difficult role to pull off and Caine was rewarded with an Academy Award nomination for his performance. Skillfully, he managed to be likeable in a wholly unlikable role.

Now, 38 years later, it’s safe to say that things have changed a bit. In the face of AIDS, post-feminism and the touchy air of hysteria that tends to accompany political correctness, the culture has redeveloped a sexual and moral conscience. Sometimes, that might be helpful--such as when trying to win an election--but it’s still contrary to everything “Alfie” was about.

Now set in New York City, this new “Alfie” has been Americanized by director Charles Shyer, which means that Alfie, now played by Jude Law, is going to have to eat his share of crow after recklessly bedding so many birds.

Along the way, he’ll be hammered with a fistful of life lessons, which will get under his skin to teach him what life is all about. He also will have to learn from his mistakes until the truth of who he is startles him into change.

It’s all unfortunate. What Shyer is ignoring is that Caine’s Alfie is still very much alive and burning his share of bridges with women today. He’s taken a still recognizable social rascal and turned him into a neutered, apologetic wimp.

The movie does mirror the culture in its interest in handsome, forgettable people moving glumly through beautiful rooms, but like a Prada ad, those sterile images are manufactured, they try too hard to be hip, and they become colorless onscreen.

A schmaltzy ending tries to bring retribution and transformation to a messy life, but it’s not steeped in anything real. There’s only the sense that the movie slumps into apologia because it would test well with today’s audiences, which demand retribution.

Law is punchy in a role that, mirroring the original, finds him directly addressing the camera with reflections on his free-wheeling lifestyle, but he’s too remote to be sympathetic and he has none of the dirty, bemused charm that carried Caine.

The female cast of fine actors--Marisa Tomei, Susan Sarandon, Jane Krakowski, Nia Long and Sienna Miller--join “Alfie” in that none of them is allowed to be especially memorable. Sarandon almost becomes the exception, but by the time she turns interesting, it’s too late to care.

Grade: C-


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Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London: Movie & DVD Review (2004)

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Riding into catastrophe

(Originally published 2004)

Hot on the heels of the Spy Kids movies and its own predecessor, “Agent Cody Banks,” comes “Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London,” which quickly goes south and drowns in its own flop sweat. The movie is so lame, it leaves you dumbstruck, so come prepared to strike back.

As directed by Kevin Allen from a script by Don Rhymer, “Destination London” arrives only a year after the original movie hit theaters, so you can imagine the time and the care that went in to its production.

Some will argue that because it’s for kids, it doesn’t matter that its script is the pits, that the acting is third-rate, and that it’s filled with enough ethnic stereotypes to make you question the filmmakers’ own prejudices. But that’s the conventional wisdom behind these sorts of movies: As long as they keep kids in their seats, then they must be entertaining, so that’s good enough.

Well, it isn’t.

In the movie, Frankie Muniz returns as Cody Banks, a junior CIA operative sent to London to thwart the evil Diaz (Keith Allen) from using a mind-control device that will allow him to put the screws to the world by commanding world leaders.

Posing as a clarinetist at a posh music school, Cody, who can’t play the clarinet (nyuck-nyuck), goes about his secretive business with the help of Derek (Anthony Anderson), a bumbling black stereotype whose grinning idiocy is such a grotesque throwback, you’d think he were starring in a minstrel.

Sandwiched between this and the film’s flotilla of flatulent jokes are a handful of subplots, one in which involves Cody’s flirtation with a dull British spy named Emily (Hannah Spearritt), but none of which give the movie the energy it needs.

The first “Cody Banks” was hardly a smash, but it still was rather good. Buoyed by some clever writing, a gung-ho performance by the likable Muniz, and a credible script that kept the action moving, the movie was a B-level complement to Robert Rodriguez’s Spy Kids series, which remains the high point in the kid-cum-James-Bond genre.

Rodriguez’s insights into childhood, sibling rivalry and his forward-thinking grasp on technology make his movies fresh, inventive and alive. They have style, they don’t condescend, they have a healthy respect for diversity and they’re fun. All of those qualities kids appreciate--and all of them are conspicuously missing from the sloppy piece of ho-hum junk that’s “Destination London.”

Grade: D


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The Adventures of Sharkboy & Lavagirl: Movie & DVD Review (2005)

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Throw them overboard

(Originally published 2005)

Robert Rodriguez’s “The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D,” from a script inspired by his 7-year-old son, Racer Max, is bogus, low-tech dreck.

Even if you didn’t know going into the film that it was conceived by a child, you’d likely sense something was askew the moment the movie detoured into the Land of Milk and Cookies, for instance, or Planet Drool. Along the way, we also literally plunge into the Stream of Consciousness, the Train of Thought and finally--appropriately-- into the Sea of Confusion.

As directed by Rodriguez, whose “Spy Kids” series was so good and whose recent movie, “Sin City,” stands tall as one of this year’s more imaginative films, “Sharkboy and Lavagirl” is remedial and repetitive, a simpering hive of connect-the-dot chaos that is hell to sit through. It goes nowhere, it’s dull, the acting is sub par and the special effects, if you can call them that, appear to have been purchased at Dollar Tree.

In the film, sensitive, 10-year-old Max (Cayden Boyd) is being bullied at school by the repellent Linus (Jacob Davich), who has stolen his coveted Dream Journal, in which Max has chronicled his summer friendships with superheroes Sharkboy (Taylor Lautner) and Lavagirl (Taylor Dooley).

Word on the jungle gym is that Max is screwy, but not so fast. He is soon vindicated when Sharkboy and Lavagirl storm into his classroom and steal him away to fight the good fight on Planet Drool. Apparently, his dreams are needed to conquer the evil of Mr. Electric (George Lopez), who wants--oh, I don’t know--to rule the universe. Or something like that.

Those who believe you need to be a kid to appreciate the film’s “simple pleasures” are dumbing down the majority of children, who have seen better storylines and character development in video games, and who know it when they’re being conned, as they are here. At my screening, one glance around the theater confirmed that most of us--all smartly decked out in our 3-D Dame Edna eyewear--were being lulled into a coma.

Still, it’s more than a weak storyline that sandbags “Sharkboy.” What truly sinks it are its 3-D elements, which are so flat and murky, they make long stretches of the movie unwatchable. The art of 3-D has always been a gimmick--albeit a fun gimmick when used properly, such as in James Cameron’s current IMAX movie, “Aliens of the Deep,” which uses the sort of state-of-the-art technology “Sharkboy” doesn’t have, or with the pure camp of, say, “Friday the 13th Part 3: 3-D,” in which Jason’s impressive array of flatware frequently flays the audience.

But in “Sharkboy,” it’s just distracting and unnecessary. The 3-D technology employed here actually peels away dimension, leaving in its wake a hollow movie about dreams that really, in the end, are just building blocks for a cinematic nightmare.

Grade: D-


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Balls of Fury: Movie Review by Christopher Smith (2007)

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Losing its balls

(Published Sept. 3, 2007)

In spite of what's its title suggests, "Balls of Fury" isn't a sex comedy. The balls of fury here are ping-pong balls. Let's just leave it at that.

As for the movie, it's about underground table tennis tournaments, which apparently are revered in the Asian community (somebody might want to clue them in on this), who take to the sport in ways that often are deadly for the participant--and, in this case, deadly dull for the audience.

This fractured, mostly unfunny movie seemed as if it might have offered the same inspired lunacy found in, say, the recent figure-skating satire "Blades of Glory."

But that's not the case. The film, which director Robert Ben Garant based on a script he co-wrote with Thomas Lennon, joins most current films dumped in the dog pound of summer's end in that it fails to meet even the lowest expectations.

The film stars Dan Fogler as Randy Daytona, a hirsute, plus-sized rocker whose favorite group is Def Leppard and whose claim to fame is that he has the ability to turn ping-pong balls into balls of fury at the tennis table.

Daytona's skills have been honed since childhood, but after falling off the circuit years ago when he was defeated at the Seoul Olympics by a mincing German, he now is ushered back into the fold by FBI agent Rodriguez (George Lopez, wasted), who needs Daytona to get back into form so they can take on and defeat the evil Feng (Christopher Walken).

Daytona agrees, particularly since it's Feng who killed his father. Trouble is, in order to get close to the man, he first needs to retrain himself in order to return to his former glory. To that end, helping him is a subplot inspired by the "Karate Kid" movies that finds Daytona being guided by the blind ping-pong master, Wong (James Hong), as well as by Maggie (Maggie Q), a beautiful woman who initially loathes him until, bizarrely, she suddenly decides to love him.

It's just one false move in a movie filled with them. While Walken looks funny in his blowout wig and his kitschy kimonos, he doesn't do much with the role beyond playing a riff on himself. In another movie, one that featured dialogue the actor could sell, this might have worked. But "Balls of Fury" is at its weakest with its dialogue, which is as corny and as uninspired as something you'd find in an amateur production posted on YouTube.

As for Fogler, a stage actor who makes his big-screen debut here, he will remind many of Jack Black, but as likable as the man could be in the right role, he doesn't run with the material in ways that Black would have. Instead, he's just the subject of endless pratfalls, most of which hit him hard below the belt and leave him doubled over in pain in ways that audiences will appreciate all too well.

Grade: D+

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The Butterfly Effect: Movie & DVD Review (2004)

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The gag reflex

(Originally published 2004)

At the start of the Ashton Kutcher movie, “The Butterfly Effect,” audiences are given a brief, punchy primer in chaos theory.

They’re reminded that if a butterfly flaps its wings in China, all sorts of chaos can unfold upon the world, with typhoons, hurricanes and the like laying waste to the earth thanks to those seemingly inconsequential butterfly breezes.

It’s fitting, then, that by the end of “The Butterfly Effect,” audiences are reminded of another kind of rippling calamity. If a couple of talentless hacks get the greenlight to make a movie in Hollywood, all of their mindless scribblings can have a similarly disastrous effect, with the world being laid flat by a typhoon of the cinematic variety.

In this case, those hacks are Eric Bress and J. Mackye Gruber, the writing team behind “Final Destination 2,” another movie in which a group of unsuspecting, bewildered twentysomethings met with the most inhospitable of final destinations.

This time out, Bress and Gruber, in their directorial debut, are just as interested in personal ruin, senseless death and general disaster, but they’re also interested in going back to the past to prevent such atrocities from taking place.

The idea is that if their main character, Evan (Kutcher), a troubled college student, can correct his troubled past, then allegedly he and all of his troubled friends will lead less-troubled lives.

You can hardly blame Evan for trying. At the center of “The Butterfly Effect” is a story steeped in pedophilia, child pornography, madness, animal cruelty, a mother and her infant child blown apart by an exploding mailbox, a woman dying of emphysema, amputation, forced prison sex, and the ugliness and squalor of prostitution.

In this movie, it’s all exploitation for the sake of exploitation, with the aforementioned list being just the tip of the horrors sandwiched onto the screen.

How Evan darts back to the past to fix the present is never fully explained, which is a flaw but no real surprise given the laziness of the script.

Still, how he does so goes something like this: By reading the journals he has kept since childhood, Evan is able to remember what he has long since forgotten. When he does so, the world vibrates around him, the pages of his journal shudder and he travels through a time continuum, one that allows him to morph back to the days when he was a child and everything went so spectacularly wrong.

The problem is that Evan can’t seem to make anything right. Time and again, he travels back to the past, with the future becoming increasingly bleak and depressing each time he tampers and returns. Essentially, he’s a well-meaning meddler trying to thwart that old cliché—you can’t change the past. Well, Evan finds a way to do so, but the film becomes increasingly absurd and hilarious with each desperate attempt.

As an actor, Kutcher is just vacant and transparent enough to be mildly interesting, which is no compliment as the interest he generates onscreen comes from watching him struggle with and fail at the craft. Indeed, there are moments here when Kutcher--star of “That ‘70s Show,” MTV’s “Punk’d” and Demi Moore’s love life--is called upon to act, yet each time he does so, audiences might want to travel back in time themselves to ask the directors for another take.

Rounding out the cast are Amy Smart as Kayleigh Miller, the young woman Evan has loved since childhood; William Lee Scott as Tommy Miller, the young man who has been angry since childhood; Eric Stoltz as George Miller, the pedophile who has caused these children more horror than they can bear; and Elden Henson as Lenny, who went insane because of all of it.

Movies like “The Butterfly Effect” don’t want to entertain as much as they want to shock. As such, they’re Hollywood at its worst and most cynical. At my screening, which was packed, I longed to join the handful of people who had the good sense to walk out, but each time the pull of leaving hit me, a whole new low was achieved onscreen, and with it, a reason to stay.

Grade: D-


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The Brown Bunny: Movie & DVD Review (2004)

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Not exactly a cuddly "Bunny"

(Originally published 2004)

A movie whose content and press almost got the best of it.

Here is the film in which Chloe Sevigny famously fellates writer, director and star, Vincent Gallo, for three minutes onscreen. Here is the movie in which Gallo, furious at Roger Ebert's negative review, publicly put a curse on that critic's colon.

Sorting it all out comes down to this--the movie isn't as cuddly as its title suggests (far from it), but on a voyeuristic level, it does create a mood of loneliness, generating interest within the nagging tedium.

This curious, wholly self-involved road movie stars Gallo as Bud Clay, a motorcycle racer on a cross-country quest to forget his girlfriend (Sevigny). Along the way, we get long stretches of road, long stretches of Gallo's profile, short stints in which he meets an odd array of women, including, in one scene, former supermodel Cheryl Tiegs, who quickly gets down to business.

Considering the lack of dialogue (and communication), the movie might as well be silent. For much of the film, it seems as if Gallo is trying to achieve something that isn't there--a meaningful movie. But then he does something unexpected. In the film's closing moments, he twists his film to give it unexpected weight. Those who hang in there might argue that it comes too late.

Grade: C




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Brother Bear: Movie & DVD Review (2003)

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An animated museum piece

(Originally published 2003)

Walt Disney's “Brother Bear” is that increasing rarity, an animated feature that eschews computer animation in favor of the traditional, hand-painted, 2-D variety. It’s almost a museum piece.

Adhering faithfully to the Disney formula and lifting liberally from a number of their more successful movies—“The Lion King,” “Bambi” and “Pocahontas,” to name a few--the movie is hardly as fresh as Snow White’s laundry. Still, in directors Aaron Blaise and Robert Walker’s hands, it does have its moments, some of which are thrilling and moving.

The opening song by Tina Turner, “Look Through My Eyes Great Spirits,” is especially strong. It has momentum and power, a welcome reprieve from the rote, indistinguishable songs sandwiched onto the soundtrack by Phil Collins, who does his damndest to channel Elton John’s work in “The Lion King.”

Set in the Pacific Northwest, the movie takes place thousands of years in the past.

There, in a spiritual ceremony set high above a mountaintop aglow with the Northern Lights, young Native American Kenai (voice of Joaquin Phoenix) is on the verge of receiving what his two older brothers, Sitka (D.B. Sweeney) and Denahi (Jason Raize), have already received before him: a special totem that will mark his transition from boy to man.

Unfortunately for Kenai, the totem he receives is in the shape of a bear, which he dislikes. Worse, he learns from the shaman Tanana (Joan Copeland) that his quest in becoming a man doesn’t involve conquering the world with brute force and machismo, as he’d like, but to find love in all things.

From this, a dramatic series of events ensue: In an effort to prove his manhood, Kenai sets out to kill the mother grisly bear who steals his basket of fish and then, in turn, his brother Denahi.

In an unnervingly well-done scene, he succeeds and, almost immediately, is summoned by the Great Spirit and transformed into a bear himself. It’s his journey back to human form that the film follows, with Kenai reluctantly bonding with an orphaned baby bear named Koda (Jeremy Suarez) and, along the way, two loony moose, Rutt (Rick Moranis) and Tuke (Dave Thomas).

This is a looser work than the studio’s last movie, “Finding Nemo,” and it’s meant to be. As such, its story doesn’t feel pressed to compete with the animated detail offered by a super-charged, Pentium-powered chip.

It chooses its moments wisely to fully reveal the power of hand-painted animation, such as in the way the sun dapples unexpectedly upon a face as it moves from the shadows or when an avalanche erupts onscreen with devastating success. Moments and scenes like this give “Brother Bear” an identity it otherwise would have lacked, which is perfect since finding one’s identity is exactly what the story is about.

Grade: B


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Bride and Prejudice: Movie & DVD Review (2005)

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Austen goes to Bollywood

(Originally published 2005)

Bollywood’s interpretation of Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice" is just what you expect--slight, chaotic, fun.

It’s a camp musical, which sends the film far and away from its source book while nevertheless keeping the bones of the plot in place. It's amazing what they've done with it.

Here, Austen's Elizabeth Bennet is played by the stunning Aishwarya Rai, a former Miss World whose Lalita knows a few things about how to smolder. The Darcy character is played by Martin Henderson as a rich hotel hunk from the States with whom Lalita falls in love in spite of her mother's meddling.

The film hails from Indian director Gurinder Chadha, whose "Bend It Like Beckham" was a nice jolt. Here, she channels the same energy that drummed through that film, lifts it a notch, and creates a movie that's pure trash art.

Grade: B


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The Break-Up: Movie & DVD Review (2006)

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Coming together...and falling apart

(Originally published 2006)

The new comedy about falling out of love, "The Break-Up," is concerned with opposites coming together and falling apart.

Nobody should come expecting much of the former, which is hastily glossed over during the opening credits when Brooke (Jennifer Aniston) and Gary (Vince Vaughn) meet cute at a Chicago Cubs baseball game. He hustles her with hot dogs, she's smitten beyond reason, and so is born the potential for a new summer trend at the ballpark. Ladies, either beware or enjoy.

Moments later, while the credits roll, the couple is shown canoodling and kissing in a photo slideshow meant to underscore their love, which is so sweet, you'd know it was doomed even without the assistance of the film's title.

Preventing the film from being socked with too much saccharine is the falling apart part, which becomes substantial the moment their relationship implodes.

Brooke, an art gallery assistant, is home putting together the finishing touches for a dinner party when in strolls Gary, a bearish tour bus guide who would rather crack open a beer and watch the game than help Brooke with the incidentals. It occurs to her that this is always how they have lived their lives together--she's a doer, he's a taker. By the end of the night, they have charged through one mother of a fight, their two-year relationship is dead, though not as neatly as either would like.

Each own one half of their pricey condominium. With neither party willing to move out, the movie becomes a showdown between them, with the possibility for a second chance pinned to whether they sell their condo. After all, if they do, they've essentially sold whatever is left of their relationship.

From director Peyton Reed ("Bring it On"), "The Break-Up" is being billed as an "anti-romantic comedy," which suggests that it plans to skewer anything warm and fuzzy while slaying the typical romantic comedy cliches.

While neither is true for the movie--it's too cute and too commercial to really get down and dirty when it comes to how ugly relationships can get when the ax is thrown down ("Husband and Wives," "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" and "The War of the Roses" did all of this much better)--this light, derivative take does generate more heat than some might expect. The escalation of the first fight, in particular, is impressively well-choreographed, with Aniston and Vaughn believably tearing each other down.

Cutting the drama with comedy is the film's fine supporting cast (Jon Favreau, Vincent D'Onofrio, Cole Hauser, Joey Lauren Adams, Jason Bateman, a scene-stealing John Michael Higgins and Judy Davis), all of whom are so good, they join Aniston and Vaughn in creating this summer's real mission impossible--a movie that might open well even in Namibia.

Grade: B


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Breaking and Entering: Movie & DVD Review (2006)

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Glum rooms with long faces

(Originally published 2006)

The new Anthony Minghella movie, "Breaking and Entering," follows one unhappily married man seeking to reclaim passion in his life and one emotionally damaged woman who acquiesces to his advances, though she knows she shouldn't.

<>How they come together is as contrived as it is passionless.

From Minghella's own script, "Breaking and Entering" could have been titled "Glum Rooms with Long Faces," particularly thanks to a weirdly expressionless performance by Robin Wright Penn, whose character looks and behaves as if they just wheeled her out of the morgue. Watching her here, one longs to check her toes for a tag, but I digress.

The film stars Jude Law as Will Francis, a London-based landscape architect who lives in a posh Kensington pad with longtime girlfriend Liv (Penn), a Swedish-American who used to make documentaries back when she was happy.

Also living with them is Liv's 13-year-old daughter, Bea (Poppy Rogers), whose struggle with autism consumes much of Liv's life. The rest of Liv's time is either spent with her face dipped into a light box (it lessens her depression) or arguing with Will, with whom she has lost touch.

Each is aware of the growing chasm between them, but neither is particularly moved into action to fix it. They're rich, they're dull, they're restless--and you sense there's a small part of them that rather likes it that way.

At work, Will has other problems. After relocating his architectural firm to London's sketchy King's Cross section, which is in flux due to urban renewal, he is the victim of two burglaries, which the police have not solved.

Taking matters into his own hands, he stakes out the property and--after a few amusing interludes with a pushy prostitute (Vera Farmiga)--he finds his thief in Miro (Rafi Gavron), the acrobatic son of Bosnian refugee Amira (Juliette Binoche). Instead of busting Miro, Will naturally takes a shine to his mother, a smoldering affair ignites between them, complications ensue.

The trouble is that the complications aren't very interesting, though the relationship between Amira and Miro is. Here is the story on which Minghella should have focused--the dynamics between a single, working-class mother who fled her country during the Bosnian war and how she's on the cusp of losing her son to the streets of London, which, mirroring her family, is in a state of transition. We get moments of that story here, but suffocating it are Will, Liv and Bea, who are protected by privilege and thus never really at the same level of risk as Amira and Miro.

Minghella's aim is to have us pull for all of them, which is difficult to do when you don't like three of them. Since his movie also is about mending class differences, he manufactures a hopeful ending that wants to have it all--just as he wants his London to have it all--but which instead only rings false.

Grade: C-


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Breakfast on Pluto: Movie & DVD Review (2006)

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The whole Kitten kaboodle

(Originally published 2006)

The new Neil Jordan movie, "Breakfast on Pluto," isn't a comedy, though comedy certainly runs through it. It isn't a mystery or a thriller, though those elements come into play. It isn't a romance, though God knows there are times when the film practically overflows with it. And it isn't a road movie, though the main character, Patrick "Kitten" Braden (Cillian Murphy), a transvestite with legs up to here and lashes out to there, has more adventures on the road than most could endure. Or even fathom.

So what is this movie, a good deal of which is set in Ireland and folds into its plot the bombings and bloodshed of the IRA? How do you peg it, especially when it also features two computer-generated birds at the beginning and end whose insights into the characters and their situations are put into subtitles?

The quick answer is that you can't peg it. "Breakfast on Pluto" truly is of its own universe. Its own rules drive it. There is no defining it, so you just go with it.

Adapted by Jordan ("The Crying Game," "Interview with the Vampire") from Pat McCabe's novel, the film is as free-wheeling as the times, particularly when Kitten (whose name is a wee bit more salacious in the book) comes into his own just as the sexual revolution and drug culture of the 1960s and '70s is gathering thrust.

Though he'd be the first to disagree, on one level Kitten is one lucky cat. In this new mod world where anything goes, his uniqueness is given a measure elbow room, even in his tiny Irish hamlet of Tyreelin, where he was left at the doorstep of a priest (Liam Neeson) as an infant and eventually raised by a family who couldn't understand his desire to wear gold lame. Go figure.

Aware of their quiet (and sometimes not-so-quiet) disagreement of his lifestyle, Kitten decides enough is enough and hits the road, where he hopes to find his birth mother, a woman he has been told looks like the actress Mitzi Gaynor.

His life as a drifter begins when he thumbs a ride out of town. There, he meets up with a band called "The Mohawks," in which the lead singer, Billy Hatchet (Cagin Friday), falls hard for him. Their relationship is the launching pad for a life of casual abandon. Since Kitten doesn't care whether he lives or dies, he allows himself a reckless sort of freedom in which homelessness is part of the equation, but then so are stints in which he works as Stephen Rea's magician's assistant and as the talent at a peep show.

Without failure, Kitten always is rescued--he has that affect on people, who tend to want to help him. What affect this has on the movie is that it robs of any sense of urgency surrounding Kitten's condition. Since there rarely is any question that he won't survive even the most brutal of situations--and there are a few of them here--the movie lacks the dramatic weight it could have had had Kitten not been quite so invincible.

As played by Murphy in what is an excellent, absorbing performance, he's sort of like a transvestite superhero--able to overcome impossible situations and look fabulous while doing it.

Grade: B


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Breach: Movie & DVD Review (2007)

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Spy vs. Spy

(Originally published 2007)

It's spy vs. spy in the new thriller "Breach," though only one spy knows that something truly is afoot. The other is left to suspect, with the film's formidable tension mounting from his growing suspicion.

Directed by Billy Ray from a script he co-wrote with Adam Mazer and William Rotko, the film generates a quiet grip, gently tightening its plot until the noose of intrigue it weaves becomes impressively unshakable. That's no small feat, particularly since the movie's outcome is so well known going into it.

Set on the cusp of 2001, the film stars Ryan Phillippe as Eric O'Neill, the real-life surveillance operative who was instrumental in bringing down Robert Hanssen (Chris Cooper), the senior FBI counterintelligence agent who sold security secrets to the former Soviet Union and then to Russia over the course of two decades.

For his trouble, Hanssen made more than $1 million in cash and diamonds, while the United States, facing its biggest and most embarrassing security breach ever, lost untold billions at the hands of Hanssen's deceit.

The movie is as much about how Hanssen was brought down as it is about the man himself, with Cooper nailing the role so convincingly, he likely would have been nominated last night for an Academy Award had the film been released at the end of 2006. His chance for Oscar's attention might come next year, though working against him is the Academy's short memory when it comes to recognizing those films released early in the year.

Still, what a performance. What Cooper gets exactly right is that he doesn't approach Hanssen as if he's a mere monster--that would have been too easy, with nuance lost. Instead, he understands that Hanssen was a hive of contradictions and thus he shades the character with all we've come to know about him. For instance, Hanssen was a staunch conservative and a devout Roman Catholic, attending mass every day (and expecting the same from those close to him), and yet he also was a porn addict, freely distributing videos of him having sex with his clueless wife (Kathleen Quinlan).

With deceit at all levels seeping from his pores, it's no wonder Hanssen was starting to come undone when into his life came O'Neill as his new clerk. Charged into that role by FBI agent Kate Burroughs (Laura Linney), who was one of 500 agents working to build an air-tight case against Hanssen, O'Neill's youth and his lapsed Catholic background proved the perfect hooks to catch Hanssen off guard, though hardly without its share of problems for O'Neill.

Going into the job, he was told he was there only to keep tabs on a sexual deviant. Turns out that the FBI misled him and that the case was more far-reaching than that. What the talented Phillippe mines from this is his best, most convincing role to date, one that joins Cooper's in that he rises above the script's lapses into stock genre convention to focus on what really matters--the psychological complexities of O'Neill and Hanssen's unusual relationship.

Grade: B+


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The Bourne Supremacy: Movie & DVD Review (2004)

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An old-fashioned throwback as restless as the plot

(Originally published 2004)

Paul Greengrass' espionage thriller, "The Bourne Supremacy," is an old-school throwback jammed with jittery camerawork that's as restless as the plot.

In it, the world is seemingly reduced to the size of a postage stamp, thus allowing the gun-toting characters to dart with ease around the globe. They trot between India, Russia, New York and Germany as if they were going down the street to the supermarket. It's as if 9-11 never happened.

A sequel to 2002's "The Bourne Identity," the film is a decadent travelogue laced with murder, car chases, foot chases and betrayal. It has style--too much style, really--but its story is nicely constructed, it has a great cast and, if you can get beyond the annoyingly unsteady camerawork, it's fun.

The film begins where "Identity" left off--on the lush beaches of Goa, India, where Matt Damon's Jason Bourne, a former CIA assassin, is still struggling with amnesia.

Aided by his girlfriend, Marie (Franka Potente), Bourne is working to piece together the remnants of his shattered life when a new intrigue begins. After being tracked down by a Russian assassin (Karl Urban), Bourne learns that he's still wanted dead and, later, that he's been framed for killing two American CIA agents.

Now wanted by CIA powerhouse Pamela Landy (Joan Allen), who mounts a massive campaign to bring Bourne in, Bourne is on the run, driven by killer instincts he doesn't fully understand but which are nevertheless assembling themselves in his fractured memory.

Loosely based on Robert Ludlum's potboiling best-seller, the film wisely pulls in the reins on the author's iron-horse prose without sacrificing the heady mood.

As Bourne, Damon gives a confident, brooding performance that's never showy. He's just right here, consistently believable, all inward confliction assailed by an outside world trying to undo him. Brian Cox is nicely greasy as CIA agent Ward Abbott, but it's Allen's sharp, quick-thinking performance as the conflicted Landy that gives "The Bourne Supremacy" the sense of urgency it needs to compete in this ripe summer of blockbuster sequels.

Grade: B

A review of "The Bourne Ultimatum" is here.

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Sunday, September 2, 2007

Borat: Movie & DVD Review (2006)

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Borat--where you come for everyone is game

(Originally published 2006)

In the brash, funny new mockumentary "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan," the question isn’t whether we should be offended by Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen), who comes from Kazakhstan armed with a motherlode of anti-Semitism and crude malapropisms.

Instead, the movie’s twist--and its genius, really--is whether we should pity those real-life Americans tricked by Cohen, who is Jewish, into revealing some rather telling sides of themselves, such as whether they are anti-Semites, homophobes, misogynists, bigots, racists, you name it.

The film, which Larry Charles based on a script by Cohen, Anthony Hines, Peter Baynham and Dan Mazer, builds its story of deceit around Borat, a likable wreck whom we first see enthusiastically showing us around his muddy village.

There, Borat introduces us to the town's rapist ("Naughty, naughty!"), passionately kisses a woman we later learn is his sister ("She the fourth most popular prostitute in Kazakhstan! Sexytime!"), and enters his home, which he apparently shares with the family cow.

This also is a place that features the popular event "The Running of the Jew," which likely is one reason that the government of Kazakhstan officially has condemned the film. The same also can't be said for North American audiences, which have since made "Borat" a box-office smash. Could it be that they're in on the joke? Or might it be that some favor the bashing? Probably a mix of both, though truly it would take an idiot not to understand that Cohen is aiming for insight here, albeit through a very raw, dark vehicle of humor.

The film's slim premise goes like this--Borat is charged by his country to travel to the United States with his producer, Azamat (Ken Davitian), to make an informative documentary that presumably will allow Kazakhstan to benefit from all that we've learned. But not so fast. It's in New York that he comes upon the television show "Baywatch" and falls in love with Pamela Anderson. Shifting gears, Borat decides to go cross-country to California, where he hopes to realize his own American dream and convince Anderson to marry him.

It's on that road trip that the film realizes its stinging worth--it becomes a nest of vignettes in which Cohen nudges himself into pockets of our culture that some would sooner wish to forget.

For instance, right now Alan Keyes likely isn't a big Borat fan, nor is conservative radio host Bob Barr, each of whom is skewered. There's the scene in which Borat, dressed in patriotic flair, draws cheers at a Virginia rodeo when he applauds President Bush for his "war of terror!" The crowd goes wild. And let's not forget the vendor who is asked by Borat which gun would be perfect for killing a Jew--and then, incredibly, the man shows him exactly which one he’d use. Finally, it’s tough to forget Borat’s revealing interaction with several drunk college dudes, all of whom, you hope, will one day work through their stunted issues surrounding sexuality and become better people.

Or not.

Grade: B+


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Bobby: Movie & DVD Review (2006)

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And every one of them is in the movie

(Originally published 2006)

One of the key problems with the new Robert Kennedy biopic, "Bobby," is that it never is as compelling, necessary or as thought-provoking as RFK's ideas, nor is it as interesting or as tumultuous as the time it depicts.

The movie doesn't brim with the edge of political and social unrest you expect; instead, it creates a blizzard of tiny melodramas within Los Angeles' Ambassador Hotel that fit snuggly together--too snugly, really--when Kennedy was shot in the hotel's kitchen by Sirhan Sirhan and later died from those wounds.

The movie is a build-up to that event. It has good intentions to spare, but a motherlode of them, while admirable, hardly is enough to make a movie good.

Witness, for example, "Bobby," which was written and directed by Emilio Estevez, a former Bratpacker whose last major film was--oh, let's see--the 1996 children's hockey fiasco, "D3: The Mighty Ducks." In the ensuing 10 years, Estevez has been busy honing his directorial skills by working behind the lens on a number of television shows, "CSI: NY" and "The Guardian" among them.

"Bobby" is designed to be his break-out movie, though additional factors likely will prevent that from happening.

For one, the film was left wanting at the bank for a budget--nobody would finance it until the Weinsteins came along. Second, since the Weinsteins weren't exactly liberal with the cash, the movie had to be rushed in order to come in at or under budget. It was shot over the course of a mere 37 days by a group of well-known actors who wasn't allowed the time to rehearse. This shows, though it must be said that thanks to the strength of the cast, nobody does anything here that they will regret.

Further sinking the movie is that tries to balance 22 personalities over the course of two hours, which some readers might understand is somewhat difficult to do, particularly coming off the recent Thanksgiving Day festivities. This certainly is true for the movie, which moves in and out of its characters' lives with such casualness, their stories don't linger. Instead, they become fleeting, meaningless vignettes amid the hagiography.

Jarring the movie out of reality is that the stars keep coming. Here is Demi Moore as an alcohol-soaked nightclub singer--lovely hair, but who is she, really? There is William H. Macy, Heather Graham, Christian Slater and Sharon Stone caught in some unexpected ugliness, while Ashton Kutcher, Shia LeBeouf and Brian Geraght drop acid in ways that might affect RFK's numbers at the polls.

In the hotel lobby, look--there's Anthony Hopkins and Harry Belafonte playing chess. Just upstairs are Martin Sheen and his insecure, freaked-out wife, played by Helen Hunt. Meanwhile, Laurence Fishburne becomes something of a black messiah to a group of angry Latino kitchen workers, Freddy Rodriguez chief among them. On their way to the chapel is Lindsay Lohan and Elijah Wood, who are about to be married so she can save him from a war that only skirts the periphery of this movie.

Other characters and subplots abound, with the movie only fully realizing itself when Estevez cuts away to actual footage of Kennedy speaking around the country. Here is the movie at its best--Kennedy delivering his own message, which is just as timely today as it was 38 years ago. That he gives the best "performance" in a movie whose power comes from old newsreel footage doesn't say much for all the many stories and characters tugging for attention in the movie in question.

Grade: C-


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The Black Dahlia: Movie & DVD Review (2006)

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A poseur

(Originally published 2006)

The new Brian De Palma movie, "The Black Dahlia," is based on the legendary Hollywood murder in which 22-year-old Elizabeth Short (Mia Kirshner) came to Tinseltown from Massachusetts in search of fame and fortune but instead found death and dismemberment.

On Jan. 15, 1947, her life literally was cut short.

Hers wasn't your everyday murder--far from it. In a vacant Los Angeles lot, Short's body was found naked, bloodless and severed in half, her mouth savagely cut from ear to ear in an effort to create a sort of grinning death mask. What Short experienced is the kind of grisly brutality that shocks even today, with questions still lingering around her death--why was she murdered? Who did it?

Unlike last week's "Hollywoodland," which was too timid to take a point-of-view in the death of George Reeves, "The Black Dahlia" at least comes armed with a theory. It also features the excellence of Dante Ferretti's production design and Vilmos Zsigmond's cinematography, which suggests that they had a handle on the genre in ways that De Palma, his cast and his screenwriter, Josh Friedman, didn't.

Based on James Ellroy's 1987 book, "The Black Dahlia" misinterprets the underpinnings of noir, amplifies elements that should have remained nuances, and turns the production into an overbearing joke.
While there are some pleasures to be had in the camp the movie courts--nobody who sees it will soon forget Fiona Shaw's hilarious performance as the wealthy Ramona Linscott, for instance, which is startling in just how wrong it goes--it's unlikely that unintentional laughter is what De Palma was seeking.

That said, it's nevertheless what he gets.

The film stars Josh Hartnett as former boxer-cum-detective Bucky Bleichert, who joins his partner, Lee Blanchard (Aaron Eckhart), in attempting to solve Short's case. Together, they must work through a few issues--their mutual attraction for Kay Lake (Scarlett Johansson, sorely miscast) being one--while delving into a sordid mystery certain people don't want solved.

Such people include the slinky bisexual, Madeleine Linscott (Hilary Swank), a wanton femme fatale who dresses to resemble Short and who pins her secrets close to her breasts; her shady father, Emmet (John Kavanagh), who owns a revealing collection of art; and the aforementioned Ramona, whose alien-like presence would be better suited in a movie about Roswell than Hollywood.

There are others, all of whom work to clog the unnecessarily dense script. Tin dialogue clangs throughout, with the confused plotting joining the phony performances in failing to come through. Unlike "L.A. Confidential," which was successfully adapted from an Ellroy book, "The Black Dahlia" folds in the face of it. It's disappointing. With fall and its promise of better movies on the horizon, this movie, like "Hollywoodland," could have been among the most exciting of the new season. That neither is true for either movie isn't exactly encouraging.

Grade: C-

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Vintage Mickey: DVD Review (2005)

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Mickey Mouse as l'enfant terrible

(Originally published 2005)

This new compilation from Disney features nine animated shorts spanning the years 1928 - 1934, with the last film in the set, 1934's "Mickey's Steam-Roller," coming just three years before Walt Disney would redefine animation with the release of his classic film, 1937's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."

On every level, that movie was a leap forward, the first full-length animated feature to appear in color and sound. It remains among the best ever made. Here, in "Vintage Mickey," we get the defining black-and-white films, with Disney's famed mouse creating good-natured havoc, usually at the expense of some bewildered barn animal.

None of the shorts appear to have been restored--some are grainy, others faded, others both. The DVD also disappoints in that it offers no extras, an oversight in a collection that should have at least offered historical context into Disney's influence on the animation of the time.

The good news is that movies have held up; they're inventive fun, with broad "performances" that favor the silent era. The most famous film here is "Steamboat Willie," the 1928 short that was so successful, it pushed Mickey and Minnie Mouse to center stage. Together, they're cute and flirty, particularly in "Plane Crazy," which might not be the most well known film of the lot, but it's the best.

Grade: B+


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The Village: Movie & DVD Review (2004)

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Village idiot

(Originally published 2004)

Forget the dead people. The new M. Night Shyamalan film, “The Village,” sees trees. Lots of trees. The director can’t stop filming them, racing through them, or watching them sway in the breeze.

He’s so fascinated by them, sometimes he’s even in the trees, shooting his characters from a high perch while they work through their haunting little melodramas down below.

Curiously, in spite of all this arbor, the film never goes out on a limb. As written, produced and directed by Shyamalan, “The Village” is the director’s weakest, most sterile effort to date, a silly, predictable plunge into the forest whose script should have been clearcut by a more talented writer before it went into production.

Like his last film, “Signs,” and 2000’s “Unbreakable,” “The Village” is damned by a plot that falls apart in ways that his exemplary “The Sixth Sense” didn’t.

Since so much of it hinges on key elements that can’t be revealed here, the barebones version goes like this: Set in what appears to be 19th century rural Pennsylvania, a small community fears what lurks beyond the forest that circles their land.

Known by the villagers as Those We Do Not Speak Of, these unseen, snorting beasts form a physical and emotional barrier that most dare not cross.

The village elders (William Hurt, Brendan Gleeson, Sigourney Weaver among them) are steadfast in their refusal to allow anyone to leave the village and go into the woods. Naturally, some of the younger villagers are tempted--particularly Adrian Brody’s Noah Percy. All of this leads to a chain of events that finds the blind Ivy Walker (Bryce Dallas Howard) racing through the woods in an effort to find medicine for her ailing intended, Lucius Hunt (Joaquin Phoenix).

In her yellow, hooded cloak, Ivy rides a rail of faith as she speeds toward a town she does not know and cannot see. Following her is The One That Causes Audience Laughter, a bizarre cross between a boar, a porcupine and a wolf, who is remarkably decked out in a red cape.

As we’ve come to expect, everything in a Shyamalan film builds to what the director hopes will be the big gasp, the defining moment when audiences discover that all isn’t what they were lead to believe. That’s just the case in “The Village.”

Still, five years out from “Sense,” it’s all become a bit boring and repetitive, as if Shyamalan can’t stop banging that same metal pot of his. Through his reputation and his films’ revealing marketing campaigns, he has trained audiences to go into his movies not only expecting a twist, but seeking it. Hitchcock was a master of this, but Shyamalan is an amateur. By treading that same territory time and again, he has stolen his own thunder, with his movies unable to support the hype.

At some point, hopefully with his next film, this promising director will break free from all the trappings that bind him and, just to clear his head, try something different—perhaps a comedy or a romance. Sometimes, one has to get away from The Thing That One Knows in order to rediscover why The Thing That Once Worked, Worked So Well.

Grade: D+


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V for Vendetta: Movie, DVD, HD DVD Review (2006)

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Smooth criminal


(Originally published 2006)

The cautionary new thriller "V for Vendetta," finds director James McTeigue envisioning some rather difficult times ahead for the year 2020.

Within 14 years, England will be a totalitarian state ruled by the vicious dictator, Chancellor Sutler (John Hurt, bad teeth consuming the screen), the United States will be ruined by the global war it ignited, and on the streets of London will be a mass murderer in a Guy Fawkes mask who goes by the name V.

Played with swift, literate ease by Hugo Weaving of "The Matrix" movies, V has a personal vendetta against Sutler and his regime that is deadly. Like Fawkes himself, who died by hanging in 1605 when it was revealed that he planned to blow up Parliament, V plans to do the job himself to capture the world's attention with his own point, as destroying famous buildings tends to do.

The film, which the Wachowski brothers adapted from Alan Moore's graphic novel, is at its core a pop-culture confection, dipping freely and liberally into a scattershot of influences to compose its whole.

Throughout are clear echoes of "Batman," "Zorro," "The Count of Monte Cristo," "The Phantom of the Opera," and "Metropolis" (check each film's ending), as well as flashes of George Orwell, Shakespeare, Orson Welles and H.G. Wells.

Noir factors into almost every corner of the story and its production, but then so do elements of science fiction and the Western. Adding to the fright factor is that V physically looks and moves as if he's one step removed from Michael Jackson, though after some minor surgical tweaking that went amusingly awry. In some shots, their resemblance is uncanny. And a little creepy.

But I digress.

Really, this overly wordy movie is about romanticizing a terrorist and turning him into a hero. Since these days that's about as dicey as playing with chickens in Turkey, it's probably best to put it into the perspective the movie intends.

The terrorist in question is fighting a fascist government that has done unspeakable things to its citizens--homosexuals and women are scourged, murdered and loathed, creative thought is crushed, art is abolished, freedom is a lost dream. Under Sutler's dystopian rule, people live in a pacifistic state of fear that prevents them from rising up against him and his henchmen.

Sound familiar? Oh, the present-day echoes abound, reverberating off the screen and railing through the theater. Complicating matters is Evey Hammond (Natalie Portman), the fearsome naif who V saves one night from certain rape by government cops and then converts (rather brutally) into his fearless sympathizer.

Much of the story focuses on her religious awakening under V's guidance, but McTeigue also trains his eye on Finch (Stephen Rea), the chief inspector charged with finding V and shutting him down before it's too late. Each is excellent in this dense, beautifully shot movie designed to break audiences from their own complacency and get them talking. What they discuss and how they feel about the subject matter are beside the point. Like V, McTeigue and the Wachowskis have composed a stage that allows for the exchange of thought and the value of ideas.

Unlike V--and this is the crucial irony the movie presents, the one fact that demands attention--they use the art of moviemaking to sell their message, not violence and certainly not terrorism.

Grade: B+

(Also available on HD DVD)




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Valiant: Movie & DVD Review (2005)

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Polly want a mediocre movie?

(Originally published (2005)

A computer-animated movie from Disney about the contributions of carrier pigeons in World War II. Good topic, fair animation, but the story quacks like a duck.

As directed by Gary Chapman from a script by Jordan Katz, George Webster and George Meldrod, "Valiant" follows Valiant (voice of Ewan McGregor), a perky little Brit bird with a can-do attitude and a limited wingspan who dreams big of fighting the big fight with an elite squadron of British carrier pigeons.

His mother is having none of it--she'd rather cough up something for Valiant to eat--but Valiant has other ideas and soon is part of an underwhelming team of misfits going off to war. Joining him are Bugsy (Ricky Gervais), who has, shall we say, hygiene issues; brainiac Lofty (Pip Torrens); Toughwood and Tailfeather (Brian Lonsdale, Dan Roberts) and Gutsy (Hugh Laurie), a bird who seems to be on a suicide mission.

Together, it's their job to deliver a crucial message for the war effort, which could either make or break Normandy. The work isn't easy. In this curious movie of good versus evil, where the Nazis are depicted as falcons and Tim Curry's menacing Von Talon likely will put a steel tremble in younger kids, the mix between comedy and terror is jarring, with none of it gelling at the end.

Should Polly want a mediocre movie, feed her this.

Grade: C-


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Osmosis Jones: Movie & DVD Review (2001)

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Somebody's not laughing

(Originally published 2001)

In “Osmosis Jones,” the dynamic duo of flatulence, Peter and Bobby Farrelly, want audiences to know they’re still on top of the cinematic dung heap.

This time out, in a supreme effort to up the ante for scatological humor, the poster boys for Beano take audiences inside the body--Bill Murray’s body, to be exact--a vile place where wet-sounding rips, braps, pffffftttsss and honks are, not surprisingly, in ample supply.

The film, from a script by Marc Hyman, is a bawdy mix of live action and animation for the PG crowd. Because of its family-friendly rating, it doesn’t have the absurdly raunchy edge of other Farrelly films, especially “There’s Something About Mary” and “Me, Myself & Irene.” But as family fare goes, some parents of young children might find themselves cringing at the film’s ongoing infatuation with Bill Murray’s business end.

The film follows Frank (Murray), a hygienically challenged zookeeper who abides by a peculiar rule: Any food that hasn’t been on the ground for longer than 10 seconds is good enough to eat, even if that food is a hard-boiled egg previously sucked on by a chimpanzee before being spit out onto the bottom of the chimp’s filthy cage.

Yes, this is that sort of movie.

Clinging to the egg are all sorts of nasty germs, but none worse than the virus Thrax (voice of Laurence Fishburne), an evil, sneering menace that “makes Ebola look like dandruff,” and which intends to wreak havoc on Frank’s gastrointestinal track.

In a film filled with its share of small moments, the big question is this: Will the white blood cell, Osmosis Jones (Chris Rock), and the stuffy 12-hour cold capsule, Drix (David Hyde Pierce), be able to rid Thrax from of Frank’s body? Not without loads of vomit, exploding zits, wayward boogers and other unmentionables.

As anyone who remembers Joe Dante’s “Innerspace,” Richard Fleischer’s “Fantastic Voyage” or even Woody Allen’s “Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)” can attest, traveling inside the human body is hardly new, so what do the Farrellys offer?

Unfortunately, not much. In spite of a handful of clever moments, all of which revolve around Piet Kroon and Tom Sito’s excellent animation, a good deal of “Osmosis Jones” is curiously flat, particularly the live-action scenes, which are in such sharp contrast to the inventive animation, the film would have been lifted considerably if the Farrellys had just picked their script as carefully as they ask Murray to pick his nose.

Grade: C-


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Open Season: Movie & DVD Review (2006)

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Not for the NRA

(Originally published 2006)

It's convention and cliches that drive the new computer-animated movie "Open Season," an overly familiar yet nevertheless likable film that could have been exceptional had it attempted something fresh within the genre. Since risks of that nature tend to make a studio nervous, "Season" chooses the well-worn path of formula, though generally with good results.

The film, which Jill Culton and Roger Allers based on Steve Bencich, Ron Friedman and Nat Mauldin's script, is nicely animated--and not to the point where it appears to be trying for realism. The movie's animation is content to look like animation, which these days is a bonus, with many of the human and animal characters all loopy exaggerations of their real-life counterparts.

This is the first full-length movie from Sony Pictures Animation and while timing isn't on its side--in the wake of "The Wild," "Over the Hedge" and "Barnyard," this year has been overloaded with similar fare--it features enough funny dialogue and clever action sequences to make it worth a look.

In the film, the domesticated, 900-pound grizzly bear Boog (voice of Martin Lawrence) has a good thing going for him. Since he was a cub, he has been raised by park ranger Beth (Debra Messing), who has turned her garage into a home for Boog that includes everything from comfortable bedding to a teddy bear to working plumbing. This bear uses a commode.

Beth loves him, the feeling is mutual, but what is becoming increasingly obvious is the rather large elephant that's in the room with them--that would be Boog's underlying need for the wide open spaces of his natural habitat, to which Beth knows he must return.

Circumstances call for that sooner than she anticipated. One night, after saving the rambunctious mule deer Elliot (Ashton Kutcher) from the film's villainous hunter, Shaw (Gary Sinise), Boog and Elliot go out on the town, break into a convenience store and eat enough candy to cause a destructive sugar rush. They trash the store, which compels Beth to bring Boog high up in the forests of Timberline, which she hopes will be out of reach of the hunters soon to descend there for hunting season.

It isn't. Still, what the hunters find is just what you expect--these animals have had enough and they're are ready to rumble, with beaver Reilly (Jon Favreau), McSquizzy the squirrel (Billy Connolly in full Irish brogue) and everything from skunks to rabbits to deer joining Boog and Elliot in formulating a revolution. They fight back, which gives the movie its violent jolt of energy (and its PG rating), particularly when the vicious Shaw darkens the picture with his inevitable appearance on the scene. Shaw's rifle, after all, is lovingly called Lorraine, and how he treats her is more unsettling than how this movie would play at, say, an NRA convention.

Grade: B


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Kinky Boots: Movie & DVD Review (2006)

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Putting a Hush Puppy on all things conservative

(Originally published 2006)

Julian Jarrold’s “Kinky Boots” is about a towering, torch-song-singing drag queen named Lola (Chiwetel Ejiofor) whose influence on a struggling English shoe manufacturer puts the Hush Puppy, so to speak, on all things conservative.

There will be no flats or sandals where Lola is involved. Proper dress shoes? Forget it. Looking for a clog? Go to Holland. What this queen wants are kinky boots--comfortable, well-made kinky boots--the sort designed to support the weight of a man who dresses to perform as a woman.

The boots must be shocking (“Give me sex!”), yards of patent leather should be employed (“Give me red!”), and a good idea is to have at the calf a little stitched pocket into which one can tuck a whip. You know--for effect. Also--and this probably goes without saying--but anything in faux leopard fur with an 7-inch stiletto heel would be plum, if only to add dice to what Lola sees as a long-overlooked niche--the drag queen, cross-dressing shoe market.

All of this might sound silly, but in the business world, finding your niche is key and it’s hardly always conventional. Many go where the money is, and as far as Lola is concerned, there is money to be had in drag queens who have been cramming their aching feet for too long into women's shoes and boots. Indeed, as Lola might sing in one of her bawdy acts, "Enough is Enough."

Naturally, predictably, circumstances conspire to bring her together with Charlie Price (Joel Edgerton), the young man who inherits his father's respected, nearly bankrupt shoe manufacturing plant, Price & Sons, when the man dies.

Charlie hails from Northamptonshire, which is exactly the sort of uptight, repressed blue-collar town favored in so many of today's popular British comedies, "The Full Monty" standing chief among them.

Since tolerance, understanding and a whole lot of loosening up are what these movies court, Charlie finds in his desperation that Lola is an inspiration. He hires her to design boots, a bold move that wrinkles his bitchy girlfriend's nose, generates the romantic interest of a co-worker (Sarah-Jane Potts), and creates its share of tension among the grim factory workers, none of whom have seen anyone quite like Lola.

Based on the true story of the real Kinky Boot Factory in Northamptonshire, England, "Kinky Boots" steams and sighs, thanks mostly to its terrific performance by the dewy-lipped Ejiofor, who has done nothing in his previous movies (“Dirty Pretty Things,” “Serenity,” “Amistad” and “Four Brothers” among them) to prepare audiences for this.

True, the actor plays Lola as perhaps the most family-friendly drag queen ever--Lola barely has a whiff of sexuality, which is a cop-out. Still, she does have that presence, there is fun to be had in her thirst for a good performance in great shoes, and by the end of the movie, when she’s doing the catwalk down a Milan runway, well, just try not enjoying the show.

Grade: B+



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King Kong: Movie, DVD Review (2005)

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'Twas overkill killed the beast

(Originally published 2005)

The first 45 minutes of Peter Jackson's "King Kong" are among the most boring to hit theaters this year. They are pure padding--dull and meandering--with the characters allegedly being fleshed out when it turns out that really, there isn't much to them at all.

At least not in Jackson's hands.

Turn to Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack's 1933 original film, however, on which this "Kong" is based, and you have a great B-movie on your hands, filled with snappy characters, real drama, heart and action, and an iconic performance by Fay Wray that has become cinematic legend.

Unfortunately, on its way to theaters, Jackson's $200 million version slipped on a rather big, gaudy banana peel. We'll call it self-oneupmanship.

The director shows no restraint here, just computer-generated overkill. His movie is a disappointment peppered with flashes of what it could have been had Jackson not felt pressed to top his Academy Award-winning "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, which is an altogether different beast. For one thing, the "Rings" series wasn't a love story, which "Kong" is, though you'd be hard pressed to know it until Jackson finally achieves a level of intimacy in key scenes that come well past the film's midpoint.

Co-written by Jackson and his longtime collaborators Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens, the movie inflates the original's running time from 95 minutes to more than three hours, which is absurd. The only reason this " Kong" should have been three hours is if it featured Jane Goodall in the sack with the ape. At least that would have made for an interesting show. You can just imagine the canoodling and the conversations.

But no. Instead, we get Naomi Watts as Ann, the out-of-work vaudeville performer with the tough life and the bum luck who is trying to make a buck in New York during the Depression. Hard times, for sure, particularly when your only prospect for work turns out to be removing your clothes at a strip club and slinking naked around a cold pole.

Ann is contemplating that shaky career move when along comes shady filmmaker Carl Denham (Jack Black, awful), who needs an actress fast so he can skip town and make his jungle movie before his longtime studio tells him he's through.

Spotting Ann outside the aforementioned strip joint (which, it should be noted, kindly wasn’t an option for her in the original film), he follows her, woos her, and then convinces her to take the lead in his movie. For hesitant Ann, the deal is clinched when Denham drops a key name. The person writing the script is Jack Driscoll (Adrien Brody), with whom Ann has always wanted to work.

She gets her chance. Soon, all are on a boat and off to Skull Island, where danger awaits thanks to the zombie-like locals, who soon make off with a shrieking Ann so they can string her up and offer her to the beast.

It's here that the movie doesn't disappoint. With a few exceptions, the worst of which involves a fake-looking chase scene in which several brontosauruses run amok amid humans, trampling them while the actors digitally dart between their legs, the special effects throughout "Kong" are mostly polished.

Occasionally, masterful technical flourishes are achieved, such as when Kong comes up against three T. rexes, which has energy in spite of recalling Spielberg's "Jurassic Park"; the scene in Central Park in which Kong and Ann play nice on the ice, which is unabashedly corny and romantic, but which nevertheless works in its tenderness; and especially the end of the film, in which Kong takes to the Empire State Building for the final showdown between man and beast.

The irony about Jackson's "Kong" is that in spite of being a movie in which size matters, the script and the actors struggle to rise up and do their part; they shrink against the technical chaos, becoming almost secondary to the work being done by the computers.

Black is wholly miscast in the role, playing Denham like a moustache twirling villain rather than the flawed opportunist he was in the original. Brody fails to make a connection; there is no heat between he and Ann, no spark, though there should have been if we're meant to feel anything for them at the end.

As Ann, Watts isn't the doll Wray was--she doesn't have her delicacy--but she does best Jessica Lang's attempt in the 1976 remake and she does connect with Kong in spite of the carnival show Jackson unleashes around them. Indeed, the best parts of this "Kong" are when it just stops, when beauty and the beast can--oh, I don't know--share some down time together and appreciate a sunset. At least during these moments you feel the weight of their odd bond, which is crucial if Jackson is going to bring audiences to their knees during Kong's climactic fight.

If it's spectacle you want, ignore this review--the movie succeeds in being the year's biggest spectacle. But if it's something that recalls the original film that you're seeking, Jackson's movie might be too much. In the end, for me, 'twas overkill killed the beast.

Grade: C


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Kingdom of Heaven: Movie, DVD & Blu-ray disc Review (2005)

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An anti-war movie about the Crusades

(Originally published 2005)

Ridley Scott’s new middle-of-the-road, anti-war movie about the Crusades, “Kingdom of Heaven,” puts an affectionate, understanding arm around Christians and Muslims--treating each equally in an attempt to offend as few people as possible--before it allows them to enter into one ugly, bloody holy war for Jerusalem.

And then it does something else that’s peculiar. Its story builds around a blacksmith, Balian (Orlando Bloom), who comes to lead the Crusades even though he isn’t exactly beating his chest in favor of God.

As the movie opens, we’re in France, it’s the year 1184, and Balian’s wife has just committed suicide, with her head being severed after death as a result.

It’s the sort of event that tends to make some question their faith, and Balian is no exception. If God is just, then how could He have allowed this to happen? After all, if Balian is to believe his religion, his wife’s soul is now burning in hell, not exactly the most comforting of thoughts.

With this weighing on his mind, slight, unassuming Balian is put on several paths--religious awakening, self-actualization, love, war--with all leading to one locale, Jerusalem.

There, Balian hopes to find redemption for his wife’s soul, but as the film’s arc lifts high above Scott’s lavish sets and masterful battle scenes, it soon becomes clear that this reluctant hero will be saddled with a wealth of other responsibilities.

As written by William Monahan, “Kingdom of Heaven” differs from Scott’s other period epic, the Academy Award-winning “Gladiator,” in that its central character isn’t initially engaged in the fight thrust upon him.

Instead, Balian is prodded along first by the likes of Godfrey of Ibelin (Liam Neeson), who admits to fathering his share of bastards, Balian being one of them, and then by Tiberias (Jeremy Irons), who convinces Balian to join the leprous King of Jerusalem (Edward Norton) in protecting Jerusalem from Saladin (Ghassan Massoud), the Muslim leader determined to wrest Jerusalem under Muslim control.

Complicating matters further is that Balian finds a love interest in the moody princess Sybilla (Eva Green) and an immediate enemy in her husband, Guy de Lusignan (Marton Czokas), the zealot Frenchman whose rush for power might just spoil everything for everyone.

With the film set in the Middle East, timeliness is obviously one of its strong suits. Its length isn’t. The film begins well, but its ultimately too long, losing its way in a soft middle before ending with a technical flourish.

As Mel Gibson proved with “The Passion of the Christ,” a point-of-view is still possible in Hollywood when it comes to religion, even if it promises to cause a firestorm of controversy. Scott isn’t up for that sort of press--he’d rather get to the battle field, where his skills flourish, than to stir a pot already overboiling between Christianity and Islam--and so he crafts a good-looking movie that’s politically safe first, entertaining second.

That decision leaches some of the film’s power. You wish Scott had been more daring, offered more of a comment on the times, but really, in the end, nothing he does thematically competes with his rhythmic swordplay or with the many catapults that ultimately show up at the walls of Jerusalem. As their huge, fiery globes sail across the sky and hit their mark with devastating force, the audience at my screening was finally moved as Scott meant to move them—forward in their seats.

Grade: B-



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Kill Bill Vol. 2: Movie & DVD Review (2004)

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Vengeance interrupted

(Originally published 2004)

Last year, in his bloody revenge fantasy, "Kill Bill, Vol. 1," Quentin Tarantino put the shock back into the moviegoing experience without hesitation, reservation or fear.

The story, which he based on his own script, concludes in "Kill Bill, Vol. 2," a less violent, less successful, more introspective movie that would have balanced the first film's kinetic energy and gore had it been shown as Tarantino originally intended: as an uninterrupted whole.

Given the film's lengthy running time and Tarantino's unwillingness to do any further editing, Miramax split the movie in two, a decision that undoubtedly will score the studio larger profits, but which, it turns out, doesn't do the movie justice as it's not the best way to view it.

Armed with his encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture, the formidable Robert Richardson as his cinematographer, Yuen Wo-Ping and Sonny Chiba as his martial arts choreographers, and Uma Thurman as his leading lady, Tarantino begins "Vol. 2" just as he began "Vol. 1" - with an unflinching, black-and-white close-up of Thurman's smashed-in face.

Just as in the first film, "Vol. 2" fades in and out of a series of flashbacks and flashforwards, with Thurman's Bride seeking vengeance for the massacre that took place on her wedding day. There, where everyone including her was gunned down, she was left for dead by her former lover, Bill (David Carradine), and his Deadly Viper Assassination Squad.

Four years later, fresh from a coma, the Bride cometh, an avenging angel who savagely knocked off three members of the squad in "Vol. 1" before the movie ended.

Now, in "Vol. 2," she's out to kill the remaining three - beer-bloated Sidewinder (Michael Madsen), who literally buries her alive in the film's best scene; California Mountain Snake (Daryl Hannah), a blond babe with one eye whose strength is the sword; and, of course, Bill, who's the father of the Bride's child.

What ensues is at its best while in the throes of action. The film features two superb, clever fight sequences that are jaw-dropping in their detail and the sublime rush they offer. The cast also is appealing, particularly Hannah, who makes a great, saucy villain, and Carradine and Thurman, whose relationship gives the movie depth. All resurrect their careers in a film that makes us realize how necessary it is to have them on the scene.

As with all of Tarantino's movies, there are images in "Vol. 2" that are unshakable - the startling scene in which California Mountain Snake meets her ugly undoing; the scene in which Thurman, buried alive, fights to free herself; the long pan away from a church before evil overcomes it. The movie is framed in tight, intimate close-ups that recall a brash mix of noir, Hitchcock and the silent era, and as such, it's beautiful to look at.

Still, the way it's shown here, disconnected from "Vol. 1," "Vol. 2" nevertheless suffers. This is, after all, the downside of the story, and too often, it feels restricted, as if Tarantino let the air out of his chic, retro rooms. Heavy on self-conscious chatter, it lacks the first film's consistent leaps of faith into others genres - grindhouse chief among them - where style and homage not only ruled over substance, but won.

Grade: B

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Kicking and Screaming: Movie & DVD Review (2005)

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Your attention, please--just for tots

(Originally published 2005)

A soccer movie for kids, with Will Ferrell in the lead as a beleaguered coach with esteem issues, Mike Ditka--yes, Mike Ditka--in a supporting role as Ferrell's tense neighbor and Bob Dylan's son, Jesse, in the directing chair.

Add to this odd mix Robert Duvall as Ferrell's competitive father, and what audiences get is a strange hybrid, indeed.

Still, as strange hybrids go, this movie gets the job done for its core audience of tots—and for no one else.

The script is limited, with broad, repetitive echoes of the superior "The Bad News Bears.” Ferrell occasionally is able to score a few laughs, but it's a struggle, as adults will find as they push to get through the movie.

Grade: C


DVD Features:
  • Available Subtitles: English, Spanish, French
  • Available Audio Tracks: (Dolby Digital 5.1)
  • The Red Cards: Deleted Scenes
  • The Yellow Cards: Outtakes
  • Alternate Takes
  • From Rome to Hollywood
  • Kickin' It with the Kids
  • Soccer Camp
  • Behind the Net: The Making of Kicking & Screaming

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Cypher: Movie & DVD Review (2002)

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High style, noir, not much else

(Originally published 2002)

High style and noirish overtones about mind control and brainwashing in corporate America. Nothing new there, so nothing new here.

The film comes from Vincenzo Natalie, whose 1997 film, "Cube," was a slick underground hit. Here, the director reaches for a challenge and finds it; he seems to be going purely for mood, with the story getting in his way.

Jeremy Northam takes the lead as Morgan Sullivan, an unhappy computer geek with an unpleasant homelife who needs a jolt. He gets one at Digicorp, the mysterious company that hires Sullivan to be a spy at other companies. Soon, the geek glasses are off and Sullivan is smoking, literally, with Lucy Liu as the femme fatale with the pixie haircut he tries to pick up at a bar.

What they find in each other is attractive sterility heated by Liu's ferocious glare. Echoes of "The Manchurian Candidate" abound, but the film never goes deeper than, say, "Total Recall." Originally released in 2002, but only just now finding its way onto a stripped-down disc.

Grade: C+


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Cursed: Movie & DVD Review (2005)

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Well, at least it's brief

(Originally published 2005)

The hammy horror movie "Cursed" stars Christina Ricci as Ellie Hudson, a television producer for "The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn" who finds herself sandbagged with a horror show of a different sort.

After surviving a nasty car wreck on Mulholland Drive, Ellie and her unpopular brother, Jimmy (Jesse Eisenberg), are doomed to the dark side when each is attacked by a werewolf.

Infected with its blood, they find themselves going through what can best be described as an unfortunate second bout of puberty: Hair appears where it never appeared before, unappealing mood swings cloud their worlds, interest in the occult emerges, everyone seems against them.

Who took a bite out of them? Take your pick - Hollywood is filled with wolves. Still, in this case, it could be any number of people.

There's Ellie's smoldering love interest, Jake (Joshua Jackson), who is opening a hip new discotheque filled with wax dummies. There's cruel Joanie, a soulless publicist played with undermining mince by Judy Greer. And there's even Scott Baio, the former television star of "Happy Days" and "Joanie Loves Chachi," who shakes things up by playing himself. Here, he's a ho-hum has been.

In the movie, Baio is represented by Joanie - of course he is, naturally he is. But that bit of comedy is so awkwardly played, as are most of the laughs in "Cursed," that it likely will raise more eyebrows in print than it does onscreen.

As directed by that old horror mainstay Wes Craven from a script by his "Scream" series collaborator, Kevin Williamson, "Cursed" contrives a story in which Ellie and Jimmy can break free from their curse only if they sever the head of the werewolf that bit them.

And so, in spite of the unexpected benefits that come from being a werewolf - Ellie gains sex appeal, Jimmy gains confidence, nobody messes with them - they push forward in an effort to do just that.

All of this could have been loose, kitschy fun, but "Cursed" is too self-conscious to get off the ground. Working against it is a weak script, an odd, ugly rash of homophobia that fractures the first third, and lazy special effects sequences that add nothing to the film but the occasional snort and giggle.

It's up to the cast to get the job done, but with the exception of Ricci and Eisenberg, who are good here, that's like applying modest pressure to a hemorrhaging wound.

Grade C-


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Crank: Movie, DVD, Blu-ray Review (2006)

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Snorting for life

(Originally published 2006)

The new Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor movie, "Crank," might be inspired by the 1950 film, "D.O.A.," but really, it's more of a sly, hardcore throwback to the action films of the 1970s, when political correctness didn't alter creative thought and the movies, as such, were a lot looser to watch.

Looser doesn't necessarily mean better, though without the presence of a filter, there's no question that the films "Crank" is trying to emulate had a raw edge that many of today's movies lack.

Since it's that very edge that also tended to offend, whether it was through the use of blood violence, racial stereotypes or in the negative treatment of women, what Neveldine and Taylor present here is twofold--a satire of those films, as well as an homage to them. They're playing with the conventions of the genre, they're honored to do so, and they're happy that everyone here is in on the game.

The film stars Jason Statham as Chev Chelios, a hit man who begins the film in what should be the final, deadly throes of the Beijing Cocktail. No, that isn't a fancy drink with a pretty paper umbrella, but a toxin injected into Chev's neck by the toughs who want him dead.

In a helpful DVD the men leave for Chev, he's told he has only an hour to live. So naturally Chev kicks into high gear, only to learn that the more aggressive he becomes, the better he feels. His doctor (Dwight Yoakam, terrific) gives him an explanation for his condition that comes down to this--there is no cure for the toxin, though increased doses of adrenalin will keep Chev alive, at least for a time. Since Chev is determined to seek his revenge before he dies, he becomes an adrenalin junkie, chugging Red Bull and snorting cocaine on bathroom floors only to slow down (briefly) when the film introduces his clueless girlfriend, Eve (Amy Smart).

Throughout "Crank," Neveldine and Taylor take so many R-rated risks, they create a movie that makes you feel as if you've been slapped by a stranger--you're startled by the violence, surprised by the chutzpah, and maybe, as this movie sees it, a little turned on.

The film is over stylized to the point that it becomes a video game, with a deliciously cheesy soundtrack that matches the quick-cut editing. Statham ("The Transporter") remains dependable in the genre--he has the action hero's swift kick, gravelly voice, and tight-fisted gate down pat. Better yet, what's starting to come through all that stubble is a sense of humor, a trace of a personality, and now there is the hint that he might be able to act. If he couldn't, how else could he keep a straight face in what proves to be one of this summer's most ridiculous guilty pleasures?

Grade: B+


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Constantine: Movie & DVD Review (2005)

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Convoluted

(Originally published 2005)

The big problem with a Keanu Reeves movie is that it's a Keanu Reeves movie. With the exception of the actor's droning monotone, a mainstay in his films, you never know what to expect. The one constant in his career is its inconsistency.

Going into his movies, you wonder whether this will be good Keanu or bad Keanu. Will it be Keanu wrapped around the occult, Keanu toting a loaded gun, Keanu saving the girl, or Keanu waxing cute?

In the new horror movie "Constantine," it's all of the above, which will likely sound like a circus act from hell to some and a box office hit to others. It's a bit of both.

As directed by Francis Lawrence from a script by Kevin Brodbin and Frank Cappello based on the popular "Hellblazer" comic books, "Constantine" should have been called "Neo and the Netherworld" given the way Reeves plays Constantine like Neo from the "Matrix" movies.

Here, in the Byzantine "Constantine," Reeves' character is a brooding, chain-smoking wreck whose days are numbered thanks to a nasty bout of lung cancer. Worse for the coughing Constantine is that after a failed suicide attempt, he knows exactly where he's going when he dies - straight to hell.

Not that anything there will surprise him, mind you. Constantine has the unenviable ability to slide in and out of this life and the afterlife. With heaven off limits to him, that means he has seen plenty of the Gollum-like souls burning just below him.

Not a pretty sight, but at least Constantine isn't adding to the problem. His job is to patrol Los Angeles, striking a balance between good and evil by performing exorcisms on those poor sods who need it while also ridding the world of those demons who manage to slip through.

He takes his job seriously, particularly when he gets wrapped up with Angela (Rachel Weisz), an L.A. detective whose twin sister recently threw herself out of a hospital window in an apparent suicide. No, it wasn't her bill that made her take her life - it was something darker and more grotesque, if you can believe that. Besides, as far as Angela is concerned, there's no way her sister killed herself. She was a staunch Catholic and never would have taken her own life lest she end up writhing in hell.

So what gives here? Damned if I know. As straightforward as all of this sounds, the reality is that "Constantine" is a convoluted mess, with many scenes not making a lick of sense, no matter how many times you examine them in the murky light. Elements are to be admired, particularly the excellent special effects sequences that dramatize hell, which looks as if it's repeatedly being hit with napalm and an A-bomb, and Tilda Swinton and Djimon Hounsou are fine in cameos.

But story and characters are key to any movie and here, director Lawrence has lost sight of both. "Constantine" isn't a movie, per se; it's a stunt with eye-catching effects, the type that works well to lure in audiences, who, after seeing this beauty, will be the real lost souls.

Grade: C-


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Venus: Movie & DVD Review (2006)

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In the final act: love

(Originally published 2006)

Roger Michell's "Venus" stars Peter O'Toole in a moving, Academy Award-nominated performance for Best Actor as Maurice Russell, an elderly, London-based actor who enjoys his share of drink and the carefully lobbed bon mot, and who has yet to deliver his swan song when it comes to the female pursuit.

If the movie seems a perfect fit for O'Toole, it is.

Based on Kanif Kureishi's script, "Venus" is eager to blur the lines between O'Toole's character and his off-screen persona, but that's hardly the only way the movie generates interest.

Beneath the film's initial high moments of comedy lurks a serious drama about aging. It's a movie that recognizes that in old age, our minds might remain bright with humor and mischief, but our bodies nevertheless are designed to betray us. Coming to terms with that unwanted truth is what gives "Venus" its emotional final act.

The film's key plotline involves Maurice's relationship with Jesse (Jodie Whittaker), the crude, unmannered grandniece of his best friend, Ian (Leslie Phillips), a fellow actor who defines high maintenance. Like her uncle, Jesse also is something of a handful, though she isn't nearly as endearing. She's closed and unhappy, a brittle young woman filled with such rage that she seems determined to spoil her otherwise attractive exterior.

Maurice recognizes her rage as pain. For him, she's his Venus and what develops between them is a complicated relationship of sensual and financial give and take--he gives her diamond earrings and a new dress, she allows him to kiss her neck and caress her hand. For some, their tenuous bond will prove uneasy, at best, particularly since Maurice is 50 years Jesse's senior. But the way it's handled here makes for a satisfying study of two different generations armed with their own set of needs, which each is determined to put first.

For Maurice, who sits up in bed late at night, alone and unable to sleep, that need is to touch and to be touched. It's so great that he's hardly above paying for it. As for Jesse, her relationship with Maurice infuses her with a rush of self-confidence she never had. She knows she's in charge of how close they will become and it emboldens her, so much so that at one point she becomes reckless with Maurice's life, which brings them--and the movie--to a turning point.

While the story occasionally veers out of focus, taking unnecessary detours that detract from the core, this never is true for the performances, which are spot-on. Vanessa Redgrave is particularly affecting as Maurice's ex-wife--she and O'Toole share some of the movie's most satisfying scenes. Likewise for Whittaker, whose presence is akin to a bruise. Still, this is O'Toole's movie, and what he develops behind Maurice's mask of fragility and longing is a character who resonates and, fittingly, who touches.

Grade: B+


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Letters from Iwo Jima: Movie, DVD, HD DVD, Blu-ray Review (2006)

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The other side of the fight

(Originally published 2006)

Clint Eastwood's World War II movie, "Letters from Iwo Jima," recently was nominated for three Academy Awards, including Best Picture. Watching it, one might question how the current political climate and our war overseas affected the direction the movie takes. The same is true for Eastwood's companion film, “Flags of Our Fathers."

If “Letters” had been shot soon after the terrorist attacks of 2001, for instance, would the movie have viewed the enemy as honorably as it does here? Or in the isolating rush of patriotism that followed the attacks, would it have vilified the enemy, regardless of who they were, because doing so would have been more culturally acceptable? As for “Flags,” one has to question whether that movie would have had such a cynical edge if not for the cynical times in which it was made.

As with any popular art, movies about a specific historic event tend to reflect the current mood, which can skew the truth into a shape it didn't have. "Letters" and "Flags" are products of a climate fatigued by war, which shows in their reactionary, cautionary approach to war.

This isn't new and it doesn't dampen their appeal. Still, when one considers the World War II genre, the truth about the time it evokes is best mined from the collective whole rather than the individual film. It's here, in this cacophony of perspectives, that Eastwood's two movies will prove indispensable. While neither is a great movie, they are good movies, adding additional viewpoints to a period in history too complicated for any one film--or any two films, in this case--to fully capture.

Told almost entirely in Japanese with English subtitles, Eastwood's “Letters” is a careful balancing act that takes the high road in honoring the Japanese for their beliefs and their convictions as they launched into combat against American troops.

Just as "Flags" gave audiences the American perspective in our attack on Iwo Jima, "Letters" puts audiences into Mount Suribachi's caves with the Japanese and, by doing so, shows us their side of the fight.

As such, you come to know the troops intimately, particularly Gen. Kuribayashi (Ken Watanabe, excellent), the Olympic gold medalist Baron Nishi (Tsuyoshi Ihara) and the naïve soldier Saigo (Kazunari Ninomiya), who longs to be home with his wife and their new child. Each joins the other Japanese soldiers in realizing that for them, Iwo Jima is akin to a death sentence. They are so grossly outnumbered by the Americans, their thoughts of winning this battle quickly turn to the dark reality of suicide.

It's here, assisted by the film's narrow focus, that the movie finds its twist. Since it's the unlikely war movie that places you in the curious position of sympathizing with the enemy, that nevertheless is what Eastwood achieves.

What he mines from this war is the humanity lost within war, how reckless and unacceptable it is when there are other alternatives. That's his point. Some will make compelling arguments that Eastwood doesn't give us a complete picture of the Japanese or their atrocities, but the director still is betting that right now, perhaps the world could benefit from another perspective--especially if that perspective is derived by viewing the world through the eyes of one's enemy.

Grade: B+



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The Good German: Movie & DVD Review (2006)

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Pseudonoir

(Originally published 2006)

Ein mittelmäßiger film.

Steven Soderbergh’s “The Good German” is at best a mildly entertaining curiosity, at worst an ambitious failure. The film is a misguided old soul so steeped in the past, it intentionally evokes the past, in this case the Warner Bros. noir films of the 1940s.

Set just after the war in 1945 Berlin, the film is less a movie than it is an experiment. It pilfers from a wealth of Warner's more infamous noir classics-- particularly “Casablanca," which it's modeled after--but also “The Third Man,” with countless other influences scattered throughout (Hitchcock and Wilder are major influences).

Attention to style is the movie’s main concern, not substance and certainly not character development. The story also is lacking, which is unfortunate since screenwriter Paul Attanasio adapted it from Joseph Kanon’s deeper, richer novel, which in the right hands could have made for a fine translation.

Still, since style is what Soderbergh wants, style is what audiences get. Shot in black-and-white by cinematographer Peter Andrews, who is a pseudonym for Soderbergh (as is the film’s editor, Mary Ann Bernard), the movie is beautifully familiar looking, with obvious care taken in achieving exactly the right look. The problem with this is that by working so diligently to nail that look, the movie comes off as a staged affectation. Everything else that should have mattered is ancillary.

The film follows Jake Geismer (George Clooney, wasted), a foreign correspondent for The New Republic who is back in Berlin to report on the Potsdam Conference. There, he meets two people who change his life--his shady driver, Tully (a shrill, sorely miscast Tobey Maguire), who enjoys rough sex and tough talk, as well as Jake's former lover Lena Brandt, a femme fatale with black lips, a black flip and a blacker mood.

Lena is played by Cate Blanchett as if she tucked Marlene Dietrich's remains into her soul--not to mention her throat. Her husky-voiced performance is pure mimicry, for sure, but at least it gives the movie an enjoyable jolt. With the actress' angular body framed by the shadows and light, Blanchett proves consistently watchable, slouching and fretting through the role as if she were mildly annoyed.

Perhaps she was, because what Soderbergh has in store for her character are a bushel of convoluted secrets that threaten to bring down what's left of the free world, but which never are satisfactorily explored. Like the good reporter he is, Jake goes through the motions of unearthing the answers to those mysteries, but in the shallow puddles of noir the movie courts, the result isn’t nearly as arresting as it could have been.

Grade: C


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Flags of Our Fathers: Movie, DVD, HD DVD, Blu-ray Review (2006)

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Poster boys

(Originally published 2006)

Clint Eastwood’s new World War II movie, “Flags of Our Fathers,” is what the recent World War I drama “Fly Boys” should have been. It nixes cheap sensationalism to cut to the core of war's grisly realities--from the battlefield straight through to Washington’s public relations machines.

In "Flyboys," Tony Bill's approach was to gloss over the harder edges of those realities. He ignored today's current climate and made a war movie one could watch in relative comfort, perhaps with a soft drink and a bucket of popcorn.

People are killed in his film, but because the emphasis is on the sheen of its special effects and not on its two-dimensional characters, you never feel their loss the way you should. The film was designed to be a patriotic powerhouse, though it has the soul of a video game. "Flags," on the other hand, is grittier. It doesn’t eschew patriotism--far from it--though it is laced with the commercially less-appealing sting of cynicism, which gives it added interest and depth.

Typical of Eastwood, whose stoic, no-nonsense cool assists the movie even if its fragmented structure doesn't, "Flags of Our Fathers" is focused on its characters first, the rousing backdrop of war second.

The film is concerned with the power of a singular image--Joe Rosenthal's iconic photograph of six unidentifiable men lifting an American flag high atop Iwo Jima’s Mount Suribachi on Feb. 23, 1945. It was an image that gave hope to a nation fatigued and nearly broke--on every level--by war. Recognizing in that hope an opportunity for propaganda, some in Washington convinced the photo's three survivors to make public appearances around the country to raise money for the war bond effort.

Those men were Navy corpsman John “Doc” Bradley (Ryan Phillippe) and Marines Rene Gagnon (Jesse Bradford) and Ira Hayes (Adam Beach), all of whom were in the right place at the right time (or the wrong place at the wrong time, as the movie explores) when Rosenthal snapped the photo.

As written by William Broyles Jr. and Paul Haggis ("Crash," "Million Dollar Baby") from the book by James Bradley and Ron Powers, "Flags" becomes about their inward struggle to deal with the heroism cast upon them. For Rene, it's easiest--he enjoys the fame. For Doc, it's difficult, though Ira suffers most--not only because he believes he doesn't deserve the adulation, but because, as a Native American, he counters the crush of racism at every turn.

Beyond the performances, which are good, the battle scenes are masterful, particularly in an early scene that evokes the Omaha Beach landing in Spielberg's "Saving Private Ryan."

For Eastwood (whose film is co-produced by Spielberg), the beach in question runs along the black sands of Iwo Jima, where the hail of Japanese gunfire carves a forest of flesh as the men come off the boats to fight. The action and the carnage is unrelenting, with Eastwood hammering away at his soldiers and at his audience. What he achieves is a heightened sense of realism that fills our senses to capacity until it bends us backward into surrealism. The effect doesn’t thrill the way lesser war films do. Instead, it humbles.

Grade: B+


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Apocalypto: Movie & DVD Review (2006)

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Charming

(Originally published 2006)

Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto" isn't so much here to entertain as it is to endure.

In large part, the film, which Gibson co-wrote with Farhad Safinia, is violent to the point of distraction--often, you find yourself pushing to get through it, happy for those moments when a head isn't being severed, a throat isn't being slit, a field isn't found littered with corpses, testicles aren't being consumed raw, or a tapir isn't getting gored and then gutted onscreen for its meat.

Tucked within the bloodletting is a story that doesn't have much patience for historical accuracy, though since this essentially is a chase movie, the film isn't lacking in energy, with Dean Semler's beautiful cinematography and James Horner's thrumming score going a long way in enhancing the action. As such, sometimes "Apocalypto" is engrossing to watch, other times it's just an overbearing gross-out--and there's the crux of the movie. The results are mixed.

Told in Maya with English subtitles, the film features an unknown cast of actors who hold the screen with hypnotic eas--they're the best part of the show. Set in the 16th century, the movie stars Rudy Youngblood as Jaguar Paw, whose tight, peaceful tribe comes under attack early in the movie by a savage group of Mayans determined to offer many of them up to the gods in an effort to quell dwindling crops and a spreading plague.

Those who are spared the grueling journey to the Mayan temples don't get off easy--they're savagely murdered, with Gibson's sadistic streak fully revealing itself in these uneasy scenes of brutality, which include rape and one man twirling a shrieking newborn child around by its leg.

The two who do escape the Mayans--Jaguar Pa's pregnant wife, Seven (Dalia Hernandez), and their son, Turtle Run (Carlos Emilio Baez)--find themselves trapped in a well. Since it's Paw's intention to free them before the rains come and drown them, the film's drive is derived from how (not whether) he will escape the Mayans and get to his family before it's too late.

Getting in the way of the film's success isn't just the violence, which is fetishized, but the odd, one-dimensional depiction of the Mayan people, who are viewed only as beasts, not as thinking people who formed an influential culture. Meanwhile, other scenes connect with panache, such as Paw's final forest flight, which is a cunning ballet of one-upmanship, or his decision to leap from a towering waterfall, which is harrowing in spite of its familiarity.

In the end, though, much like Gibson himself, "Apocalypto" is so far on the fringe, there's the temptation to overanalyze it. The trouble is, the more you do so, the less you seem to care. By eschewing subtlety and nuance in favor of shock, Gibson does disturb his audience as he intended, but by stripping away any sense of mystery from his movie, he also does it a disservice. He kneecaps it.

Grade: C


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Clerks II: Movie, DVD, HD DVD Review (2006)

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Of asses and donkeys

(Originally published 2006)

Perhaps it's best to pretend that Kevin Smith's last film, "Jersey Girl," never hit the screen. It wouldn't be difficult to do. For many, the pretending began soon after the movie's 2004 release.

"Jersey Girl" was Smith's most grown-up film to date, an attempt to move beyond the comic book fantasy world in which he thrived and was happy pushing buttons, and try something new. The problem was that in trying something new, he ended up producing what so many in the business were busy producing--a safe, bland drama with no ideas, no edge, no shape that was designed to appeal to the broadest possible audience.

In a word--boo.

Considering where he has taken us over the course of his career, from "Clerks" to "Chasing Amy," "Dogma" to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back," the idea that Smith wanted to be on his best behavior in "Jersey Girl" was as unnatural as a stripper in a nun's habit. For Smith, the clothes didn't fit--and the movie didn't work.

Now, Smith's fans will be happy to know that the politically incorrect button-pushing is back in the director's new movie, "Clerks II," a sharp, smart return to raunchy form that picks up 12 years after its famed predecessor became an underground hit.

Once again, the film stars Brian O'Halloran and Jeff Anderson as Dante and Randal, two aimless friends, now 33, who literally are jarred out of the rhythmic safety of their longtime jobs at the Quick Stop convenience store when Dante arrives to find the place engulfed in flames.

With the store toast, the duo--shaken out of their comfort zones--moves on to the equally dead-end fast-food restaurant Mooby's. There, the specialty is Cow Pie, Dante becomes an assistant manager, and Randal, when not busy shucking food, keeps busy by picking on creepy co-worker, Elias (Trevor Fehrman, wonderful), or launching into a myriad of rants that push this film beyond the limits of its R rating.

Working effortlessly in a subplot is Rosario Dawson in a winning performance as Becky, manager of Mooby's, who has developed a friendship with Dante that could become much more if he weren't engaged to Emma Bunting (Smith's real-life wife, Jennifer Schwalbach), a pinched, controlling woman who is one leather suit and whip away from being a dominatrix.

Outside the restaurant, it's a familiar world of foul, with Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Smith) busy selling dope while startling the screen with the occasional moment of horror, such as when Jay plays nude homage to Jame Gumm, the serial killer in "Silence of the Lambs." At my screening, it laid the audience flat.

But so did so much of the movie. Raunch only works well if there is an undercurrent of substance at hand to lift the bottom feeding. "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" did this well, and now so does "Clerks II," a movie that has no problem plunging into the messy depths of bestiality while also, somehow, generating a groundswell of affection for the characters understandably dumbstruck by it.

Grade: B+


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